The responsible one

It was so one of those mornings! I tried to let her have a little extra sleep this morning. (These cold mornings make it so hard to get out of bed.) I told her she could have an extra 5 minutes when I woke her up. She took the five and than raised me another 5.


We started the morning litany of things that need to be done before she leaves the house:
Flush her toilet
Brush her teeth
Feed the Cat
Get her keys
Make sure she has her charged phone
Is her homework in her binder
Did she take her pills
Does she have her lunch box.

Somewhere between the toilet and the cat I asked her to get her purse and I was going to give her her buttons for the weekend. It didn't quite go the way I thought it was going to. I tried to give her buttons and she knocked them out of my hand. I tried to trade buttons for money and she got an attitude which made me not want to give her anything.

By the time we left the house she had her pills and her lunch box but not much else from the list. She had these two items done mostly because Hubby came down stairs and told her she had to do what I told her to and those were the really important items.

I don't understand why when Hubby says something she will listen but when I say it she puts up a HUGE fight. I was told tonight that when I want to use I have a very commanding voice. I think I use this when I speak to her about things that are important ( homework, hygiene, and social skills). Apparently what worked to quiet the room yesterday at church doesn't work on my daughter.

Yes I know this is boundary testing but what is the difference between Hubby and I? The two of them have more "fun" together. I get the rest: making sure homework is completed, going to see the teachers, meeting with the guidance counselor, and turning the TV off.

One day I guess I'll let go of this feeling that I need to be "the responsible one", she is getting old enough to be responsible for her own actions as I keep being reminded.  It is just hard to let go, somedays I feel as if she is still the 3 year old who wanted to make snow angels or the 5 year old that wrote me a note that said she loved to cuddle with me (yes it has a place of honor in my planner) not the almost 13 year old whose favorite phrase is "wasup?".