A Day of Rest

The Bible tells us that on the 7th day God took a day of rest.  For the first time in quite a while today was that day for me.  I went to the Dulles Expo Sugarloaf Craft Festival with a friend and her daughter, by myself.

I got up at 7am this morning, had a quick bite to eat and then ran to the bank for a little bit of cash.  I met my friend NB at 8:30 and we then went to pick up her daughter.  We got to the Dulles Expo Center at 10 and then did a once around the 500 plus stalls.  It was the most crafts I have ever seen in one place!  The first time around was to just look at the stalls and see what everyone had.  We truly enjoyed ourselves.

Most of the artisans were wonderful, nice people who were ready to help you with anything you could want.  I was able to get a wonderful new necklace and earrings custom made, as well as talk to a lady who is going to make a plate out of my most favorite hard wood.  But we also met some not so nice people and we did our best to leave their booths as quickly as possible. 

It just goes to show that no matter where in life you are, whether it is elementary school, middle school or your job there will always be people that you don't get along with.  I have been trying to teach this hard lesson to MAC.  You make the best of the situation and try to stay out of the way of that person in the future.  I had a great day of rest and hope that you did too.

Wii

There is absolutely nothing like the whole family singing to WiiGlee.  This includes my sister, my niece, MAC and I.  Hubby absolutely refuses to open his mouth in song when there is anyone else in the house. 

We started exercising.  All of us made our Miis part of the Wii Fit world and we did Hula Hooping, Ski Jump, Skate Boarding, and Kung Fu.  Yes we each took our turns.  MAC had apparently played the Fit during the day while she was home so she was being very accommodating and allowing Z to do whatever she wanted.  The sharing was great.  Of course all the laughing at each other as we fell, or became a snow ball when we didn't land right in the ski jump was the best part.

We actually had a sit down dinner and then the girls went back to Glee instead of Fit.  MAC loves to sing.  She has made 100% on over half of the songs and had a great time "helping" Z.  MAC sang "Someone to Love" and Z sang "Imagine".  When I tried to sing "Defying Gravity"  MAC laughed her head off saying I couldn't sing.  I had to tell her that I was singing in the original key which made her laugh even harder!  Sis and I tried to explain to the girls that they were singing songs that were around before we were (which made them REALLY OLD) and MAC said, "No they're not, Glee made them better!"  They are fun in a chorale setting, but BETTER?  No way!

Thank you

My parents always told me that if I got a gift I needed to write a thank you.  It was ingrained into me from the time I could write.  It has always been a part of birthdays or Christmas and I have always had thank you cards in my desk.

I have tried to instill this into MAC.  It started with fill-in post cards when she was young and has progressed to hand drawn pictures this year.  She has resented the fact that I always give her a "deadline" to get them done in, but I would like her to get them done in a reasonable amount of time ( a month or less).  This year has been a little difficult.  Because we were away for Christmas I told her she could wait until we got home.  I asked her to do them over her holiday break, she didn't.  The Sunday before school started I did get her to write 2 to her Grandmother, and her Grandparents in Virginia.  The next week she did another two and I finally gave her an ultimatum of finishing them all or I would be returning gifts.  They were all finished by last weekend.

It feels as if, although Hallmark has several different sets, thank you notes are out of style.  Truthfully it does seem as if the "written word" is out of style.  One of her teachers told me that they really don't teach cursive anymore because the kids won't be writing any of their papers.  I think it is sad because cursive becomes so individualized and can tell so much about a person. 

Believe me, if you send me a gift you will recieve a handwritten thank you note.  If you send a gift to MAC you'll also get a thank you, these days usually on one of her hand drawn pictures!

Snow

Do you remember the days when you were young enough to think that the weather man was your best friend when s/he said that "we are in for a doozie of a snow storm"?  When the words "____county has a 2 hour delay" or "____ county is closed" made your heart beat faster?  I think I've grown out of that!

I know my Canadian friends are laughing at me.  Most of them have had snow on their lawns since our Thanksgiving.  We are expecting another 3-4 inches tonight, for a total of 6-8.  When I was young enough to enjoy snow days I didn't have to worry about someone I care about having to drive to work at 10pm, I didn't have to worry about the fact that the anti-lock breaks kept coming on this morning as I was driving to work, and I really didn't have to worry about shoveling!

This afternoon I was released from work an hour and half early.  I made it home in the daylight and asked MAC to bring me shovel so I could try to get rid of the slush in front of our house.  I asked her if she wanted to help and she looked at me like I had two heads.  I was able to move the slush before the snow hit, yeah!  Now we just have to wait and see what the school system says in the morning.

Dog Days are Over

YEAH!! Tuesday morning we had the last bi-weekly talk therapy appointment for the foreseeable future.  She will continue with the group sessions and once a month talk therapy, but I got to cancel an appointment and was able to get the dates and times that I wanted for her next two appointments.

When we left I asked her if she was excited.  She said, "yeah sure" in the wonderful way of teenagers and then asked if I would buy her some Maggie Moos.  I was so happy I even said yes!

I dropped her off at home on my way to work and as she jumped out of the car I said, "You should get out and play today since it is supposed to be warm."  She said she'd think about it. 

One Day On, Two Days Off

Today was the last of 4 half days at school.  MAC went to school this morning and made it home around 2 this afternoon.  As I said yesterday it has recently occurred to me that time really is slipping by.  We have now passed the half way mark of this school year!  I can't believe that she is half way through 7th grade.  Her father also reminded me that this coming birthday is a "big one".

For the next two days MAC has off of school.  She was really excited to think that she would be able to get to sleep in and watch TV.  I had to burst her bubble and tell her that she'd only get an extra hour tomorrow since I had scheduled a Doctors appointment at 9.  She will get to do what ever she wants on Wednesday, sleeping in, watching TV and eating left over ribs,

Grocery Shopping

MAC and I did our weekly grocery shopping today.  She is never really thrilled by having to go with me but it suddenly hit me that I have less than 6 years to get her ready for, what I hope is collage, or at the very least living on her own.

It reminded me of a line I heard on a new series called The Big C.  The main character has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and is realizing that she will be leaving her teenage son to be raised by his clueless father.  Cathy decides that she is going to take the summer and spend the time with her son who of course hates the fact that his mother is all of a sudden taking a hands on approach to his life.  He asks her why and she tells him that she, "Has a limited window of time and that she plans to raise him so hard that it's going to make his head spin!"

I felt just like this this morning when we are in the grocery store and she is reading her manga.  I said to her that I wanted her to learn how to grocery shop because she would be going off to collage in less than six years.  She looked at me kind of funny and put the manga away for about 15 minutes. 

Maybe next week we will be able to talk about laundry...

Something good!

After 2 weeks of no eating out we went out for lunch today. We always have an issue finding a restaurant. Hubby likes just about anything but really likes Irish food. MAC likes Cheeseburgers. I have more discriminating tastes, fish and veggies mostly. We went through several possibilities: 5 Guys, California Tortilla, DuClaw, and then I finally said "what about Smokey Bones"?
We have only been there once but it was good. Besides the burgers MAC has found that she really likes ribs of any kind and Smokey Bones has 2 types and 5 different sauces. I don't remember the last time that she ate and not only had the meal all over her face but also cleaned her plate of sides and the main meal.

After the meal we all looked at each other and said, "That was really good!" It was nice to have a family meal that we all liked and even have some good conversation to boot.

It's not how you say it, but what you say

Today for the first time in several weeks MAC didn't call after school when I expected her to. Of course I called the house and no one answered. I was about to call her father and have him go hunting for her but about half an hour after I expected her to I got a call. She said that the bus had been in an accident and that was why she was late.

I heard "in an accident" and nearly ran out the door of my office building. I asked her if she was ok, and she sounded a little confused when she said yes. I asked her where the accident happened and she said she didn't know. I gave her some options: in Annapolis, on Rt. 50, or in Crofton. She said she didn't know, that she had been waiting at Annapolis Middle for it and that they had to wait for a replacement bus.

Then it hit me, she wasn't on the bus when it was in an accident, it had been in an accident before it was supposed to pick them up! My breathing started back to normal and I explained why I was asking. By this time she was bored with me and said, "Ok, I'm fine, I'm here, Bye!" and hung up. I had to smile, she had told me "the bus was in an accident", not "we had an accident on the bus". I guess I should listen more carefully.

I Love You

Today was one of those days where things really seemed to go well. Not only did we get out of the house on time this morning, she was excited to get out of school 2 hours early, and then had a nice afternoon with her Aunt. My FSA was deposited so we have a little breathing room before Hubby gets his first bi-weekly pay check, and the best thing was MAC said, "I love you Mom" to me twice this evening out of the blue.

Tomorrow she can yell that I'm a MEAN mom, or that she hates me, but for today I have her Love and it is enough.

Transformation

Yesterday we went to visit a good friend of mine. She has an amazing ability to read people. MAC and she have a great camaraderie and when I told MAC that we were going to visit KB's new house she was very excited.
KB and MAC had a great conversation where KB told her that she could see that MAC had made some good changes and that her life was transforming. KB is very patient and the two of them enjoyed themselves a whole lot. It was nice to see MAC talking and enjoying herself outside the house and family.

MAC left KBs new place in one of the best moods I have ever seen her in. I just love transformations!

Snowflake Ball

We all went to Michael's 8th Avenue to set up for the ARC snowflake ball tonight. We got a little bit of a late start, mostly because I had the wrong time in my calendar, but we still made it in time to help set up. We blew up helium balloons and helped to tie them to chairs. We then put out a few decorations on the table and then the group headed out to Pizza Hut.

The kids did a really good job and deserved to enjoy themselves. There were 2 middle school girls and 2 6 year olds. The 6 year olds had a really fun time chasing MAC around the ballroom after set up. She had almost as much fun roaring at them like a dinosaur which sent them into gales of giggles.

Dinner at Pizza Hut was really fun! We all enjoyed the company and had wonderful conversations sitting in the Pizza Hut dining room. The kids enjoyed the pizza, bread sticks and chocolate dunkers. It was nice to see everyone getting along for the 2 ½ hours we spent together.

Freaky Friday

MAC and I seem to have come to an understanding about Italian. Her teacher has sent me 5 items which must be done and turned in before the end of the marking period. She did one of them Friday and wrote 2 Christmas Thank yous and will complete 2 more Saturday and 1 Thank you. There will be no yelling and there will be no stomping out of rooms when I tell her that she needs to start work on it.

She slept in until 10:30 this morning and is currently watching a little TV. We are planning on going to set up for the Anne Arundel County ARC Snowflake Ball this evening with PoP's Youth Group. I hope she gets as much out of this as she did helping at Sarah's House last week.

Longer than most...

Thursday morning was another day where we sat waiting for the bus. At the beginning of the year she and I would play hangman and talk a little. As the year goes on she has begun to pull away. She got a medium journal for Christmas and has begun her own comic book. She no longer wants to play hangman with me and works on her comic.

While it makes me a little sad, I know that I have been very lucky that she has wanted to continue to do things with me for as long as she has. I know that the teenage years are not usually known for wanting to be around parents or to be seen in their company. (If I remember correctly it the time when you want them to raise your allowance, give you a car, and then get out of your way!)

I guess I'll continue to ask her if she wants to play for the rest of the school year and maybe one or two days she'll say yes. I have a hangman scratch off book that I don't think we'll ever use, I guess I have the beginnings of our next yard sale.

Progress

Wednesday was the first time that I had been able to get an appointment for MAC with her talk therapist in one of the elusive "late appointments", it started at 6pm. I was so excited when I was able to score this one. For the first time I would not have to take her out of school or take off work to get her to the appointment! Yeah!

I was a bit worried about the roads after the ice that came down yesterday, so I picked her up directly from my sister's place and we headed directly there. The roads were a lot less busy at 5:20 than they are at 4:20 and we actually made it there about 20 minutes early for our appointment. I wasn't too worried since she had her comic book with her. She chose a chair directly opposite the wall clock and was fine until the appointment time when she started getting restless. We waited another 20 minutes before the Dr. was ready for us. After 5 minutes I went to the check in desk and spoke with the receptionist. I told her that I usually give the Dr. 5 minutes and then check in again just to make sure she knew we were waiting. For the first time anywhere the receptionist apologized saying, "I think it the worst of double standards, we expect you here early for your appointments and charge you if you miss, but don't have to stick to the schedule."

By the time Dr. P came to get her MAC had been quietly stewing for 20 minutes. She went to talk and instead of the 40 minutes I expected the appointment to be she walked out about 30 minutes later. Dr. P came with her and said that even though she was a bit "snarky" she thought that things were going well and that after the next appointment, as long as she continued to go to the girls group, we could cut back the talk therapy sessions to once a month.

It finally feels as if we are making progress.

Snow

"What's the point of snow if it doesn't get you out of school?" That was MACs theory when we heard there could be snow today. Anne Arundel County got out 2 hours early before the first snow flake even fell and when I kept looking outside and still no snow had fallen when we left for Girl Scouts at 6 I thought it was the silliest thing that had ever happened.

Apparently even though there was no snow some sort of precipitation had been falling. We skated out to the car and had gotten half way out of our parking lot when the leader called to cancel the meeting. It was almost a solid piece of ice from our door to the car.

I think that she will probably get her wish tomorrow and get at least a delay in the school opening. We are still under a Winter Weather Advisory and we are hoping that the ice will have melted enough that it isn't dangerous in the morning.

Conversation

One of the hardest things for an Asperger’s person to do is to hold a conversation about something that doesn’t interest them. MAC and I have been working on conversation starters and how to continue a conversation, even if she is bored with the topic.
Mom and Dad have come down for a short visit and they were at the house when she got there this afternoon after school. When I went to pick her up, Mom said that she had had the best conversation with MAC that she had ever had. I was glad to hear that MAC had listened and remembered some of the things we had talked about.

I am hoping that she remembers some of these "conversation starters" when she gets into other situations with friends' families.

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

As some of you know my current phone will allow me to "record" up to 2 minutes of anything that might be close enough to the microphone. Last spring I recorded a few excerpts from MACs performance at the Annapolis Barnes and Noble. One of the songs was "Proud", the theme song from the Biggest Loser. It has been the default ring tone on my phone ever since.

We had a full day today that consisted of church and helping. We started the day late as usual getting to church for practice before the 9 am service. We try to get to PoP by 8:30 but usually don't end up leaving the house until 8:30 if we're lucky and today was no different. She sat through the service and followed along in the bulletin and even took communion during the service. Her Sunday School was watching "It Could Happen To You" which I thought was very timely considering the Mega Millions drawing last Tuesday. This took her right up to about halfway through the second service. Since I was serving communion at the second service I allowed her to go help in the nursery where she had a great time playing with the little kids.

When we left we ran for some lunch meat for next week. I know that if I think positively enough we WON'T get all the snow that I've been hearing about. Of course her philosophy is "What's the point of snow if we don't get off school?" While we were in line I suggested that the two of us could go help the church with serving dinner at Sarah's House tonight. Sarah's House is battered women's and children's shelter here in Anne Arundel County. MACs face when I suggested it made me decide that we WERE going to go.

Before we left I discussed a little more about who we would meet tonight and what we were going to do. I have to say I was much impressed with how her attitude changed as these thoughts sank in... By the time we got to the shelter she was all ready to help. She diced tomatoes, put out lettuce, salsa, and cheese and during dinner she was our "refill" person. After the residents had been fed we got to eat. She waited until people had gotten seconds because she "didn't want to take away their food". By the time she could have desert she did the same thing and kept waiting because she "didn't want to be greedy and take it from someone else". I finally talked her into a chocolate cupcake because everyone else was eating desert.

As we left the shelter I asked her how she felt. She said it was nice to help others and that it made her feel good. She left with a smile on her face. I was so proud of her tonight! She went from being angry that I was making her go, to being happy to have helped someone else. What more could I ask from her?

I'm SO frustrated!!

I know that I've had this rant before but I am so tired of having to double check and watch MAC take her pills! I separate her pills every week in her daily cases. The top two are for her morning pills, the bottom two are for her evening pills. I usually take the next day out of the case and leave it on the counter for her.

When I wake her up in the morning I remind her about clean clothes, brushing her hair, brushing her teeth and when I hear her heading downstairs I remind her about taking her pills. About 4 out of the 7 days she will take her pills without my having to remind her again. For some reason the evening pills are always forgotten, even when she is reminded.

Usually I find out too late and she has been in bed for a few hours when I find the pills still in the case. Tonight I woke her up and she had to come back downstairs and take her pills. She was half asleep but she took them.

I know, I know, I will continue to watch and separate her pills. That is what a good mother does. I think I might continue to wake her up to take "forgotten" pills though...

On Her Own

Today was a PVA day. I was at the library on time. The bus got there on time. She was one of the first to get off the bus. We had some small talk about the day and what she was going to have for dinner. She started work on her homework and then stopped for dinner.

I needed to run out for a meeting at 6. When I left she was putting her binder together. I reminded her that she needed to do her homework which included: studying for Italian and reading. She looked me dead in the eye and very seriously said that yes she knew and she would.

I had to do some grocery shopping so I got home after she had gone to bed. I will be interested to see if she read when I wake her up in the morning. But for now good night world.

I Didn't Mean to Make Her Cry

So Wednesday morning MAC and I had a serious talk about Italian. I told her that she had to go see her Italian teacher before I saw her again in the evening. I fully expected to have a phone call from her around 3:15 asking that I come and pick her up from school because she had missed the bus.

What I got was a phone call from her asking if she could go to her friend MM's house. MM's mom was there picking her up and said that it was ok with her. I told MAC to do some homework, especially since MM is in all 4 of her core classes. MAC said she would.

When we got home I asked her some questions about the homework that she couldn't answer. I asked her to go back and study again. She went to the dining room and studied. I asked her some more questions. She went back and studied again. I asked a few more questions and she started crying, "I'll never get to go to bed tonight" and "I'm so sleepy, I just want to go to bed". After one more round of studying and questions I told her to go to bed.

I really didn't mean to make her cry. I was just asking main idea questions...of course this was after making her show me all the other homework she had done and made her go back and fix things. She has been making more of an effort but I keep wondering how long it will be before I don't have to go behind her every day to check that she has done what she says.

Help Day Woes

Today was one of those days that both MAC and I just wanted to get back into bed. Actually, we did. The alarm went off at 6 and apparently instead of hitting snooze I turned it off. I woke up at 10 to 7 and then MAC and I rushed to get to clothes on, pack lunches, and defrost the car. We made it to the bus stop seconds before the bus pulled away...

As she was jumping out of the car I reminded her to visit her Italian teacher for help day. I heard "yes" on the wind as she ran to the bus.

When I picked her up this evening I said hello and then asked if she had made it to see Mrs. S. She said no (of course the story was good) that because it was the beginning of a new set of PVA Plus there was no time between the end of school and PVA Plus. They called each student by name and told them where to go, by the time each student knew where they were supposed to go it was time for PVA Plus to begin.

MAC knows that she MUST go to Italian Help Day if she is going to stay in the PVA program. She has not gone to a single help day in the last 7 weeks of school. The teacher and I have had several e-mail exchanges about what needs to be done, none of it is helping. MAC promises to go every help day, has lied on a few occasions about going, and then comes up with another "good" reason why she couldn't go. I have been told that I just need to let her "fail" and go back to CMS. I don't really see that as an option. I'm at my wits end as to what to do about this "issue". None of the therapists can tell me either. Any ideas?

My Wish for the New Year

I was so happy to see the last day of 2010! We are three days into 2011 and it was the first day back for all of us. MAC and I were woken up by an alarm this morning. This was the first time for her in over 10 days. She was not happy when I walked into the room at 6:20 and told her that it was time to get out of bed. (I wasn't so happy this morning when the alarm went off at 5:30 either!)

We were out the door at 7 with a little help from Hubby. He had my hot tea ready when I made it down the stairs for the first time since last Thursday. He had made sure that MAC had eaten, taken her pills and had a lunch packed (I really wish he could be home every morning)! It was definitely a help since I am still not quite back to being myself yet.

My doctor's appointment had me ready to pick MAC up right about the time she usually gets to my parents house. When she called I was picking up my prescription and said that I would be over in a few minutes. She said, "But Mom I'm not ready to go yet!" I told her that I would be happy to let her have a little more time with her with her Aunt if she wanted to. I went to the grocery store and picked up some items that we needed for lunches this week and then went to pick her up at the usual time.

MAC had a good day at school, got her homework done, was able to do some studying, and we were able to watch some Yu-Gi-Oh season 4 after dinner. It felt good to be able to have some fun with her. We had nice conversations every time we talked and she went to bed in a good mood. She even took her evening pills with no complaints.

I wish for many more days like today in this New Year.

Stay away from the sick germs!

Another day of coughing for me. Another day of fun for MAC. I had called the PoP Music director yesterday and told her that I didn't think I'd be attending church on Sunday. We all slept in this morning.

MAC was out playing with the girls next door this morning when I finally woke up. Hubby had fed her and made her take her pills before she headed out. The rain had stopped long enough for them to really enjoy themselves on the side walk in front of our houses.

I got a phone call from one of MAC's friends from school about 1:30pm. He wanted her to come over and play for a while before he had to leave for a boy scout meeting. MAC was so excited she bounced out the door! She took Wii for Glee and her Yu-Gi-Oh cards with her. She was able to spend almost 2 hours with her friend which was 2 hours away from all my "sick germs".

I was so glad that she was able to stay away from me for so much of the long weekend. It was nice to hear her as she passed the bedroom door going up and down the stairs and she brought my dinner to me last night. I really hope she doesn't get this cold!

Happy New Year!

I hope that you have all had a fun New Year's Eve and that you have started on your New Year's resolutions. Unfortunately this year I have been under the weather and slept most of yesterday and woke up around 4am to cough my head off.

I feel very lucky that we had made plans with my mother in law for MAC to go over on Thursday and spend some time with them. Hubby took MAC over on Thursday morning and she took Glee and the microphone to play with. We had a few phone calls from them, but they were all positive and they asked if she could stay an extra day.

With me feeling so bad and Hubby wanting her to be happy we said yes she could stay. I have been happy that she has been out of the house having fun. I hope that she has been spared the worst of this cold and that my low-grade fever will leave soon...the cough too...  Happy New Year to all!