She should've...

So many times over the past 12 years I know that after we've left the restaurant or store that the phrase, "She should've..." has followed us out. "She should've given her her walking papers." "She should've made her complete the project." "She should've made her sit correctly in the class." "She should've told her to just wait her turn." Even if I didn't hear them I know those words were said hundreds of times over the years.

Today while I was working at one of the Smithsonian museums during a symposium, a mother came up to our table with some questions. Her son, who looked about 9, kept trying to get in between us and have her look at something. She kept moving her hand at him, trying to wave him away without saying anything to him. After her questions were finally answered and she moved toward the cafe' the other three ladies working the table and I started the "She should've" conversation.''


"Can you believe how he was acting?"
"She should've told him to wait."
"I can't believe he didn't get the point"
"She should've told him that she would be with him in a minute."
"Don't you think he was being rude?"
"She should've stopped talking to us for a second, looked him in the eye and told him to wait."


I realized half way through our "should'ves" that I was making the same assumptions that others probably had made about us. They were out in public, and her child looked normal.  Bad behavior is supposed to have consequences.  When I ignored the "minor" behavior such as MAC talking back to me I know that there were many many parents that thought the behavior was major and needed better discipline. The mother today handled the situation the way she felt was necessary and not being the mother of her child  and not knowing what "major" behavior was for them, the four of us should've kept our thoughts to ourselves.