And Mom and Dad Can Hardly Wait...

We have two more days left of the Winter break. I mentioned this to MAC this evening and she stopped talking to me. The old song "It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas" was right: Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again. MAC has been sitting at home watching TV and drawing. I have left her the Italian Study Guide and I am hoping that she will work on it tomorrow. (Oh, God, please hear my prayer and let her have this finished before Sunday! Amen.)

Tomorrow she will be heading to southern Maryland to spend some time with her Grandmother and cousin. I made these plans for her last week before our trip to the emergency room. The general feeling was that she should be able to keeep to her regular plans but she would need to talk to someone if she started feeling "bored" again. She needs to continue taking her pills but we think things are under control for now. When we were in Virginia she refused to take her pills because I wasn't there to watch her, I have asked Hubby to place the box of pills into his mother's hands and make sure that she knows when MAC is to take them. (Oh, God, please hear my prayer and have MAC take her pills and be in a good mood. Hubby and I would rather not have to drive back to Southern Maryland in the dead of night tomorrow. Oh God you know how much she is looking forward to this and I really want her to have a good time. Amen.)

I have left her to do her thing tonight. We have gone over what she needs to pack three times. She has taken her pills for today, and as I said in the opening: she has stopped talking to me.  Her father can check her bag in the morning.

A Wonderful Christmas

What a wonderful day we had! For the first time in two years MAC woke up first and was very very excited to be able to wake everyone up. Of course this year she got to wake up Grammy, Grandpa, Cousin Z, Aunt R, and Z's father. She was a bit disappointed that we had to make coffee for the adults first but once she realized that others had to wake up she was ok with looking at the stockings.

It seems that she did recieve everything her little heart desired. Her grandparents were able to find the last two things on her list: Yu-Gi-Oh Egyptian God cards, and the Glee game for Wii.

We all enjoyed the Wii. Hubby and I took the WiiFit with us and everyone had a great time doing the 1-2 minute games. We tried to see who could eat more fish as a penguin, who could hula hoop longer, and who could actually make it across the tight rope. For the most part MAC did a great job, although she did try to push her competition out of the way. She really wasn't too happy when the Wii told her she was overweight.

We made the long trip home today and I get to go back to work tomorrow. MAC and Hubby will go see his father and step mother and then on Thursday she will go spend the night with Hubby's mother. She just needs to work on the Italian study guide before next Monday.

Christmas Eve

We went to Christmas Eve service this evening. MAC wore her new purple sweater that made her look like the teen that she almost is. Being at Mom and Dad's we went to their new church. It is a quaint little building that reminds me of what you think of when you hear the words "church in the valley". It is growing but the sanctuary seats about 100.

We got to the church about 20 minutes before the service started. It was amazing how it went from 15 of us to 100 in about 5 minutes.

MAC surprised us all by singing her little heart out during the carols. Some of them she didn't even need the music for! I had a great time watching the head of the teen in front of us keep turning around. I think he was wondering where the big voice was coming from.

At the end of the service MAC turned to me and said, "Boy that was much shorter than I expected!" I explained that for the first time in years we didn't have to go early for practice or set up and after service we didn't have to clean up. She seemed to think this over a little than nodded and went on her way...

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it. I'll be back on Sunday!

Bored

Ok, so after spending 6 hours in the emergency room yesterday we were amazingly able to get a canceled appointment with Dr. P MAC's talk therapist today! The office opened at 9 and by 9:30 we had the canceled appointment at noon, which was right before their office holiday party. This left us enough time to be able to pack the car and run to the dollar store for the traditional family "night before Christmas" exchange (my father reads the book 'Twas the Night Before Christmas and every time he says right we pass the gift to the right, etc).

What we found out at the talk therapists was that although yesterday MAC really couldn't say why she tried to grab her friend's dry ice cubes, today she was able to say that she was bored during class and that bored is a "negative" word for her. She has two coping strategies only one of which is viable during school hours, go and talk to her guidance counselor.

We had a 6 1/2 hour drive to my parents after the meeting and she was able to keep herself entertained (thank God for electronics)! We tried to talk to her but all she wanted to do was draw. I know this is the asperger’s kicking in but it's almost Christmas! I hope tomorrow she'll at least come and draw in the same room as the rest of the family. Wonder of wonders I was just talking to Hubby about finishing the grocery shopping tomorrow morning and MAC said she wanted to go with us! Yeah!

The Emergency Room Again...

Just as you think everything is going well a shoe is thrown into the soup. We were talking about the trip tomorrow and the Christmas Presents MAC was hoping for this morning. This afternoon after sitting in a two hour meeting I was beginning work on a Christmas center piece when I got a phone call from the school Psychologist. My heart dropped to my feet.

MAC had tried to hurt herself in science class with the dry ice. Apparently the teacher hadn't seen anything but one of her friends had mentioned to the guidance counselor what had happened and the counselor sent her to the psychologist.

The psychologist would only release her to Hubby or I (even though MAC had said she was fine and just wanted to go back to class). Hubby went to pick her up and I was supposed to meet them at Anne Arundel Medical Center. I was glad that Hubby was able to get her because what should have taken me 20 minutes took me almost an hour to get to due to an accident on the South River bridge.

We sat in the Emergency room through a shift change and saw a medical doctor and the hospital psychologist and MAC even got to eat some of the hospitals great turkey. It was the same one we saw about 6 months ago. Once again we were told that we needed to bond better with MAC and that she needed to see her talk therapist on a weekly basis not a bi-weekly. We were also told that we should attend family therapy and that I should call several groups in the area. I tried to explain that we are trying but that MAC needs to help in her own treatment.

At least this time we were released. Around 9pm we left the hospital. If you are ever in the emergency room ask the nurse for some food if you are hungry! MAC had a cup of mac and cheese as a snack and I got a sausage, egg, and cheese bagel. Considering that I hadn't had anything else to eat today it tasted like a steak! If she hadn't said she was hungry we probably would have sat waiting for her dinner of cold turkey, 1/8 c of stuffing and green beans, YUCK!

We are looking forward to Christmas even if we aren't looking forward to the drive.

Happy Winter Solstice to You!

Happy Winter Solstice everyone! Happy birthday to my friend EK!

I was amazed at the fact that although there are several total moon eclipses that last night's was special. It was the first time in over 400 years that the eclipse comes on the same night as the winter solstice! It won't happen again for another 400 years. MAC was very excited to see it but when I tried to wake her up to go outside she whined and said she didn't really mean she wanted to get up and to go away. It was 4:50 am and I was cold and tired, I left her alone and went back to bed.

Tonight was her winter concert. It was a combined concert of the Bates Chorus, PVA chorus, Liberal Arts Concert Band, PVA Band, PVA Chamber Ensemble, and the Bates Jazz Band. It was one of the longest concerts I have ever been to! MAC had to be there at 6:15 and we left somewhere around 9:15. I could hardly believe it, a school night to boot! I must say, it was one of the best concerts we have ever been to though. The kids were all very well behaved, and were quiet during all the set changes (of which there were 6). It really did get everyone into the Holiday mood.

She is really looking forward to the last day of school tomorrow. Of course what she is seeing: a whole week and two days off of school watching TV and playing with her friends, what I am seeing: time to finish up her Italian study guide, and to do the reading for Language Arts. Yeah vacation and 6 hours of being in a car together!

Homework

It is very disappointing to me that although I am told by the teachers and guidance counselor, that I can go to "Blackboard" and see the assignments and homework that when I actually do take the time to go there they are 2 weeks behind in putting things up.
I asked her to show me her homework and of course get the, "It's almost Christmas and I only had homework in math." I had to take her word for it. Apparently, her science homework is to see if she sleeps at the foot of her bed with a spoon under her pillow if it snows tonight.

Tomorrow is the winter chorus concert. There is no PVA plus after school but we'll have to see if there is help day...

Again Mom?

What a wonderful day! Although we had 2 late nights on Friday and Saturday MAC still had to get up a little early this morning. (We usually get up around 7 on Sunday's for church so 8 was still sleeping in.) Today was the church cantata and Christmas Pageant.

Although MAC no longer participates in the Pageant she and a friend had a duet in the cantata part. I was so proud of her! They had only practiced together 2 times. The first practice this morning was not so good, no one could hear them, but when they sang in the performance it was beautiful.

Before we entered church this morning MAC and I had a talk about making sure to talk to people and thanking them when they tell you how nicely you sang. She had the look of, "Again Mom?" but when I came out after church I heard her saying thank you after someone had told her how good she sounded.

We ended the day by spending the afternoon baking cookies. She really wanted to make ginger snaps so we found the recipe from our first cookie exchange. She took the recipe to the grocery store and found all the ingredients and did all the mixing by herself when we got home. The cookies were delicious! She is planning on taking them to school with her tomorrow and share with her friends at lunch.

Space time continuum alert!

Ok, can I just say that Christmas is coming early this year? Yes I know that it is has been celebrated on December 25th every day for the last what, 600 years? Yes I know that December 25th comes the day after December 24th every year. Somehow this year there has been a rip in the space time continuum and Christmas is EARLY! I'M NOT READY!!

For most of you, you know me. I am a planner. I carry a rather large, heavy planner with me 99% of the time. I plan what I need for everything: the Girl Scout camping trip took 3 pages, the last trip to Virginia took 2 pages and last Christmas I had 5 pages dedicated to lists and party planning. This year I have 1 page. I am very worried. We are heading to Virginia on Thursday and I have not got all the packing done.

I went through the "Gift Bag" on Thursday and it appears that minus the 4 gifts I have ordered but have not arrived yet we have gifts for everyone on the list. The gifts for Hubby and MAC have been done since before Thanksgiving but I am still worried. For the first time in the 13 years of our marriage we decided not to buy for Hubby's whole family. As the youngest of 4 children and then a step sister Hubby has 14 people in the immediate family. It was always difficult to buy everyone something they wanted and once we no longer saw them it made it even more difficult. (As an example my one niece is still 16 in my mind, of course she is a mother and has been married for 3 years now.)

Christmas always comes together, but somehow this year it feels as if things are not right. We have not put up any decorations this year (even at work) because we have been so busy with other things. Yes, there has been a rip in the space time continuum...2010 is almost over!

All Quiet on the Eastern Front

We had the first real snow today. Schools closed early and everything! It was beautiful as long as you were inside a warm building. Because schools closed an hour early today all after school activities were cancelled as well. MAC was supposed to have a 45 minute performance at the Lowes Annapolis Hotel this evening. The teacher was just sick about the fact that they couldn't perform tonight.

MAC was able to ride the regular bus home and worked on homework until I picked her up. It took me a little longer to get her because the roads were slick. I don't think I've ever heard my anti-lock breaks come on so often and it was scary when the car wouldn't stop at the end of the road after I picked her up. When we got home we had dinner and watched a little Yu-Gi-Oh.

She asked both Hubby and I to sit and watch with her. I was hoping to do some baking with her, but it was nice to be able to do nothing and be with them both. She went to bed all on her own: pj's on inside out and backwards, hoping for more snow!

Who Am I?

Today I was told that I was selfish and that although I "love" my daughter that I apparently resent her and that she is picking up on this "vibe" and that is why she behaves as she does. I was told that I am feeding her the wrong things, that I am not allowing her to make her own decisions and that I have her in the wrong school.




I tried to explain that while it was easy to sit on the outside and say what was being done wrong that this person was not the one who's house, bank accounts, and emotions were being trampled on everyday. I was told that this proved that I was not putting MACs welfare before my own. Of course in the next breath I was told that I needed to take care of myself.  I cried off and on for the rest of the evening after this conversation.

This evening MAC and I spent 2 and a half hours working on homework and trying to organize her school binder. We skipped the Girl Scout meeting and Glee.  I found this song while I was looking for Casting Crowns and think the lyrics are exceptionally appropriate:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KznLRXLBxno  

I would like it on the record that I do love my child and I want the best for her. The world requires certain behaviors and I am trying to impress upon her what those behaviors are.

Working on It

There have been several minor set backs this past weekend: the Parent's Night Out on Saturday, Sunday School issues in the morning yesterday and then sitting in a corner crying last night before her performance.

We took it all in stride and after discussion about every single incident I think Hubby and I have come to two different conclusions. I talk, talk, talk and remind her what she needs to do and how to act. Hubby seems to feel that if we let her be she will work it out in her head and be able to deal with it at another time. I think that she needs to hear different ways to deal with things. He thinks that she is just saying "yes" to make me stop talking.

The teen years are just months away from starting and as someone else reminded me yesterday that sends LOADS of hormones through her body. I guess more reading is in my future. Anyone know about a good book about teens with Asperger's?

And so it goes...

Yesterday was my birthday. It was a busy day that seemed to get busier by the minute. On Friday Mom and I made plans to do some Christmas shopping at the mall Saturday morning, MAC had Christmas Pageant practice at 10:30, we had a birthday lunch at 1 and then it was Parent's Night Out at church starting at 4:50pm.

I planned to go out for dinner if I wasn't needed at Parents Night Out. I stayed until 6:15, the kids had been fed, most of the arts and crafts projects were done and it was time to start watching videos. The adults in charge said that I should go and try to have dinner out. I decided to take them up on it.

We got as far as the restaurant parking lot. Then the phone call came, "she said the kids were disrespecting her and that she wants to go home. She isn't being bad just sitting in a corner saying she wants to go home." We went and picked her up.

For the most part I have become used to this. As I have said before: I have the school phone number memorized, I have the talk therapist on speed dial, I know where the closest emergency rooms are as well as the three closest Nighttime Pediatric Groups from anywhere where we go with any frequency, and I have email addresses for all of her teachers. I guess I just lull myself into thinking that everything will be fine when we have several days of good behavior.

Asperger’s is an everyday, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week thing. I need to remember that as far as she has come since her hospitalization she still has a way to go. Sometimes things feel so "normal" and then another issue pops up, or the same issue pops up again. She is really sensitive to what other people say, and as much as we say to ignore or stay away from people that can really backfire too. I just want her to be happy.

Fun Family night

Tonight was my niece's "dinner theater". She and her school performed 2 Dr. Seuss stories and after a short intermission several of the older kids performed some improv. It was really cute. All of us had some really good laughs and a good meal.

Mom and Dad came home to be able to see the play and tomorrow we'll celebrate birthdays. MAC had a nice conversation with them when she got to their house this afternoon. They were very complimentary about her current sketch book and it was really nice to eat all together at a family table.

We have had a very nice evening and she is downstairs watching some Yu-Gi-Oh before bed. I love weekends!!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

I want to wish all my Jewish friends a happy 8th night of Hanukah tonight.

We went out for dinner tonight with some friends. I picked MAC up from her after school program and we headed to the mall. We found a parking spot a short walk from the middle entrance. It really wasn't as bad as I had expected.

Our church had our cookie exchange and work has just settled on a date. MAC is bringing home an interim next Friday, has a "gig" this Sunday, next Thursday and the winter concert on Tuesday the 21. The dining room is overflowing with the multitude of Christmas gifts that have been purchased for our families and friends.

We took a short ride through the different neighborhoods to look at the lights. I heard my first commercial for Zoolights at the national zoo this afternoon.

I tried to get MAC interested in the lights tonight but she was really more interested in telling me how much she wanted dessert tonight and how she thought I should have allowed her a shake and dessert. Mom and Dad are coming back tomorrow to watch my nieces play and help to celebrate birthdays. It has been quite a full day and the weekend will be packed too.

I love this time of year: we are looking to the future, people are excited about being able to buy gifts for others and the festive lights are going up everywhere. I hope one day MAC finds the wonder in it all too...

It isn't just me!

We had dinner with friends this evening. My friend SG has 2 boys: one is a year older than MAC and the other is 4 years younger. They have a lot of fun playing on the Wii together, not doing homework, and I have a wonderful time talking with my friend.

After dinner tonight we sent the kids upstairs and SG and I began talking about her older boy and MAC and how the homework gets done, it just doesn't get turned in. (Really, how hard is it to hand the completed work to the teacher?) We also talked about how we have been the ones to call the teachers in middle school. (At least in elementary school we only had 2 teachers, a guidance counselor and 1 principal to talk too...now we have at least 7 different teachers, hopefully only 1 guidance counselor but it depends on the day, and 1 principal and up to 3 vice principals to talk to!) Trying to schedule an appointment with the teachers has been a nightmare, the core classes really want to talk to you as a "team" and the encore classes are on different schedules. (I only earn 160 hours of leave a year; it takes at least an hour to get to and from the school, and I'm lucky if the appointment actually starts on time, they are usually around 20 minutes, so by the time all is said and done one appointment with the core teachers can use an hour and a half of leave, then multiply that times 3 more groups and 2 to 3 appointments each quarter...you can see where this is going...)

It felt good to know that I wasn't the only one who had the homework problems, the teacher issues, and the worry of being a working parent. As always, thanks for a wonderful evening SG!

Socialness?

We had a really good morning today! She made it downstairs and had her lunch packed before I got out of the shower. The rest of her day seems to have been pretty good too. They had a false fire alarm on Friday and apparently today the fire department had to do an inspection of the school so they missed first period.

She did her homework when she got to R's house and when we got home we had a nice dinner. She was disappointed that I had a meeting tonight, but when I was able to sit and watch 2 episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh with her she was much happier. Also when I told her we were going to SG's for dinner tomorrow she got a great big smile on her face.

At my meeting, I was told that she had a really nice conversation with a long time church member yesterday. The spouse said that his wife had been very happy when she and MAC had their conversation after Sunday School. It felt good to know that between the donuts and hot cocoa she is at least being social with others.

Movie Night

It has been quite a day. We went to church and then a quick run to the grocery store. When we got home we had a little lunch and then she started playing Wii. She changed the game to a single player game and Hubby went upstairs to get some sleep.

I started the laundry and some cooking and about a hour later when I came back she said that her wrist hurt her. I told her that she could stop playing and she looked at me, laughed and said no way!

This evening was Mom'n'Daughter Movie night. Instead of watching "My Neighbor Totoro" we watched three episodes of "Yu-Gi-Oh".   I think she has gotten through the first 3 seasons now, and she still wants to read all of the mangas.

Family Day

I have had a "most excellent" day today. I am hoping that everyone else had too. They both have gotten very good at hiding their true feelings!

MAC didn't want to get up at all this morning but when I reminded her that we were going to the Peeps Store she jumped right up. What was very funny was that she even told me yesterday afternoon to remind her that we were going to the Peeps store if she told me she didn't want to get up this morning. We had the talk about Christmas and how we were not going to spend a lot of money when we went to National Harbour Mall today.

We got to the Peeps Store when it opened at 10am and had planned on going to Elevation Burger for lunch before heading to my mother-in-law's new house for dinner. We didn't expect to have to wait almost a half hour for Elevation to open. We were able to actually walk around the other stores while we were waiting. There were several new stores open and they were having a Christmas Market happening along their main street which was fun. MAC found that she really likes Alpaca, because it is REALLY soft and fuzzy!

We took a trip to Hubby's old house, saw his elementary school and even saw where he used to go sledding. We had a very nice time at the mother-in-law's and came home with left over’s of Hubby's favorite dinner: Chile Quillies.

Family day has been nice and relaxing. Yeah to togetherness!

More appointments

I got a call at 2pm on Thursday asking if I could bring M in for an appointment with her talk therapist. The doctor had to cancel our appointment next week and due to the fact that it takes us so long to get to the office and the only appointments available are at 11 we have only been able to schedule one appointment a month for the next few months. She continues with the group sessions on Fridays so the feeling is that things are under control.

I had to think about how to work things so that we could make the appointment because she had after school activities. I called the school and asked them to pass a message on to her to NOT get on the bus because I would be there to pick her up. I then asked the secretary what time PVA plus stopped and was told 3:30. I left work at 3:15 and realized when I got to the school that 3:30 was the beginning not the end of PVA plus!

The appointment went well and the doctor was very happy to hear that I had spoken with the Italian teacher and that things seem to be going better. The only bad thing about a late appointment is how late it is when you leave. We arrived home around 7:30 and then had some dinner. MAC was so tired she went to bed right after eating!

Glee and the Science Fair

Last night was when everything that she had typed the night before ended up glued to the poster board. She had to complete the "notebook" which had all her notes from the websites she had visited getting information and making sure that everything was ready to take in tomorrow.

Of course, she had a deadline. She really wanted to see Glee. It was sectionals night and they had some really good songs. Glee started at 8:00, she finished the notebook around 7:50. Every time she would complain about how tired she was I would just say the word "Glee" and she would pick up the pace.

The new CD came out yesterday but because we were so busy with the science fair project no one stopped to get it. I told her that we would go get it tonight if she finished all of her homework by the time I got to the house to pick her up. She was hugely excited and finished her homework by 5:20 when I got to the house.

We listened to the CD on our way home from the book store. She loves it and I love the fact that she was able to put her mind to something and was able to complete her project.