Happy Anniversary!

Happy two year anniversary every one!  It is hard to believe that 2 years ago I was sitting at the Caribou with a Newused laptop and a thought to put our story "out there".  MAC was still in middle school and we were hoping for a better year.

 Now here we are, the summer between middle school and high school...the start of a new adventure.  Not much has changed, we are still hoping for a better year and less calls from the school.

She and I talked about school supplies and what she thought she might need or use this year.  The school supply sales are beginning and you can find lined paper for .25 a ream. All she wants is lots of .9 pencils and erasers.  (Of course none of those are for taking notes, just for drawing.)   This is not the best of starts is it?

I promise that I will work harder at posting this year.  Happy Anniversary!

What to do over the summer?

I know that MAC is getting tired of everyone asking her what she's doing for the summer.  While we have had several hic-ups with camps and such in the past there wasn't really anything available for her now that she has hit the teen-age years.

There are a lot of sports camps available and there is even a chorus camp.  Unfortunately all of those require that she work in co-operative groups, not on her own.  I don't want to "set her up" for failure as I know that being in the hot sun/humidity and having to watch what she does/says will put her in a horrible mood and then if one person does something she doesn't like I'd be getting a phone call.

No, I have been a horrible mother and made her stay home by herself this summer.  She has done exactly what she wants to do for 5 weeks.  She and her cousin, Aunt, and Grand Parents went to spend a week at a time share in Virginia where she got to go to the pool every day.  Next week she'll take a week long trip to Virginia to stay with her Grand Parents while she does a 2 hour a day horse camp.  She is looking forward to that.

Summer is great and relaxing for her.  Her favorite phrase is "it's summer, I'm not supposed to learn!"  We went veggie picking at a friend's garden yesterday and she did learn about honey bees.  It was nice to hear her asking questions and figuring things out.

To paraphrase Phineas and Ferb, "Four more weeks of summer vacation, and school comes along just to end it.  So the annual problem for our generation is finding a good way to spend it!"

Almost Happy

Well here we are a little over a month since the end of school and MAC is still enjoying her self. She has been having a great time sleeping in and then eating what ever she can find in the house.  It has been a great time for her and she has even says that she is "almost happy".  She is still looking forward to the rest of the summer.  I am counting down the weeks until school starts again.

I will be contacting the school in the next week to set up our walk through and hopefully get a copy of her schedule.  She isn't looking too forward to that...

MAC's end of the year speech

Each of the 8th graders were asked to submit a speech for the final awards presentation.  The following is what MAC wrote:

Hello.  It’s me, MAC.  Now I know I’m not interesting or nice to be around, but I would be honored if you would hear me out.  So this is it.  The time when we look back onto our most precious memories at this school.  Heh!  It’s funny, I haven’t even been here that  long and still…I already have so many memories of his place.  Like when I first came here at the end of the first quarter of school.  Every moment I was at the borderline of tears because I didn’t want to leave my old school.  People kept trying to tell me that it was for the best and that it wasn’t meant to be.  My response, ptoie!  I didn’t believe in that crud.  Why was this whole fate thing so important?  The idea of fate was stupid to me.  I mean, it’s creepy how many people think that your life was planned out before we were even born.  I never really even thought about fate.  I mean, fate is the reason why I have disabilities.  Fate is the reason why my grandfather died.  Fate is the reason that I am who I am.  Many times, it felt as if fate was trying to hurt me or kill me.  Fate is cruel.  For me fate has never been good.  I’ve heard that fate is the law in the universe stating that everything happens for a reason.  But…why?  Why do people believe in that malarkey?  Fate doesn’t exist…does it?  Maybe it’s not real.  Maybe people are just fooling themselves. 

If fate is real, then what’s the purpose for my inner and outer turmoil?  I pondered on that question for a long time before I came to my conclusion.  If I wasn’t me, then I would have never gotten accepted to BMS.  I wouldn’t have the talents that I have.  But most important I wouldn’t have the friends that I hold near and dear to my heart.  When I realized this, I was able to hold my head up high and keep moving forward.  No matter how mad I get, I can keep going.

I know that not everyone is liked, I get that.  But even so I can keep holding on to my life.  BMS served it’s purpose for me.  And this school has done so as well, but in a better way.  I’ve met so many wonderful people.  Yeah, some still get on my nerves but…they still made my life more interesting.  They kept me young.  So this is it?  The time when we say goodbye to our lives together?  NO!  We don’t have to say goodbye.  What we have to do is welcome in the change.  Change may be hard for us, but not impossible.   

Change is why I’ve met all you wonderful people.  And I hope…that you all…remember me…yeah, pretty cheesy, I know.  But hey, embrace the meaning of my name, right?

Seriously, please remember me…not as a violent freak, but as someone who has been through so much and can still find it in her heart to wish everyone here happiness. 

How Many Days?

So here we are on the 25^th of May and unbelievable to me is that in two weeks school will be done!  The 2011-12 year will be behind us and the new adventure of high school will be awaiting.  She has had her classes assigned and we are trying to schedule a tour of the new school.

As usual here we are at the end of the year trying desperately to keep her from failing by making her do make up work.  She has had several group projects that she didn’t do with the group and has had to do on her own (which, actually makes her happier) and there have been several choral concerts that she has had.  She has a college report that was due Monday and that she just wrote yesterday.  

I hate the fact that every year she seems to be able to pull a “pass” because I get so mean and force her to do the work that she knows she should have done earlier in the quarter.   Sometimes I think I should just let her fail, of course, when I say that to her, she says I am the reason she has “such low self-esteem”.

This Memorial Day Weekend I wish to thank all those that have served.  Your sacrifice is appreciated.

You Need to “Forget” more often…

Today MAC looked at me and said, “You need to forget to fill my pill case more often!”    I haven’t been feeling so well (a cough that is in my chest and a sore throat) and after going to church on Sunday morning I have really not felt like doing too much.  

For the most part I have tried to get some rest, and drink lots of water.  The house is a total wreck and I feel like I have been put through the wringer when I get home from work.  I feel like I’m pretty much collapsing into bed and although I can’t actually get to sleep I just don’t have the strength to move.  I have had her take only the medications that have been prescribed for her and not all the extra vitamins.  She is really happy to only have to take two pills in the morning and one in the evening instead of five in the morning and four in the evening.

I will "forget" for the rest of the week and then start again on Saturday.  :)

To promote or not to promote…

Ok, I know I didn’t post a second time last week and here we are almost at the end of this week but here I am.  After the rough start last week things did seem to calm down a little for MAC.  She hasn’t completely found her footing but seems to finally be seeing a small niche that she might fit into at CMS.  Of course we are down to the last few weeks of school.

There was another follow up meeting with the IEP team and we are one step closer to making things happen.  It is so frustrating that there are so many steps required and that although we have done most of them they need to be re-done before they can issue an IEP.  One of the biggest items to come out of that meeting is that the “team” does not feel holding her in 8^th grade another would be beneficial.  As always there was the: “the high school has more services they can offer” and “if she stays here and does nothing all we could do is send her to Phoenix where there is no music or art”.

I don’t know how to feel, she has made friends who will be going to the high school but promoting her without her knowing what she should at the end of 8^th grade seems ridiculous to me.  MAC has said that even if she is kept back that she doesn’t want to be there and will do the same thing next year.