So Proud

Hubby’s father is dying.  I know, I know we’re all dying but his death is imminent.  There was a call on Monday from the home where he currently is called to say that they thought he had about 24-48 hours left.  Hubby and I left work and went to sit with him, meet with the hospice nurse and doctor, and to support his sister and Step-mother.

MAC was disappointed that we would not take her, but the feeling was that he had deteriorated to the point that we thought he might really make her uncomfortable.  Hubby took the day off Tuesday and spent the day at the home.  When he came home MAC said again that she really wanted to go visit her Pop-pop.  We decided after much explanation of what the home is like, that the residents really had no boundaries, and that Pop-pop was a lot different than the last time she saw him to take her for a little while.

When we got there it was after 7 and things seemed to have settled down.  She talked quietly and behaved well.  She even gave a hug to her Memaw and Aunt.  I have to say that I had my misgivings about taking her, but she made us proud and I am glad that she had a chance to say good bye.

Unique

On Thursday we changed Psychiatrists and while I know that everyone is different it really surprised me at how different his approach was.  MAC and I had made a deal and she was supposed to do her own talking.  Everyone we had been seeing had asked her questions and she would give them her sullen look and refuse to talk.  The new doctor was gregarious and seemed to put her at ease right away.  Also, while the other offices always seemed dark his office had two sides with windows and yesterday was a nice sunny day.

We discussed the medications she was on and why and he has taken her off some, upped the dose on one and has gone back to trying an ADD medication to try to help her with organization and impulsivity.  When we left his office both MAC and I were happy (which is a first).

I guess psychiatrists are like snowflakes too…just like children.

Yes, I see signs of Life

I know that it has been almost a month since I have blogged and I’m sorry.  It has been a very stressful and tiring time in Maryland.  MAC has fully entered the angry teen-age years and is at the point where NOTHING I say is right.  (If I told her the sky was blue and the grass was green she would tell me NO the sky is azure and the grass is emerald.)  There have been a few more incidents at school and even an in school suspension from Algebra class.

Yesterday I had an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting with the new school.  It is totally amazing to me how different things can be even within the same county.  When I had the meeting at the old school the administrator was the vice principal, at the new school they have a dedicated IEP person.  At the old school the guidance counselor and the school psychologist was in the meeting, at the new school it was just the school psychologist.  There was also a teacher representative and the special education coordinator at both meetings.

I am beginning to feel hopeful again, this time the group felt that her education was being impacted and that she should be on an IEP.  The new school has classes that are geared to keep everyone in the general population but is smaller and has an extra aid in the class.  If it is determined that she is in need of these (which I think would be helpful) she will be given these accommodations.  And if nothing else she will be on this list for high school.

I am hoping to begin to blog regularly again so please check back again soon.

How Mad Can She Get?

What a great Valentines Day morning!  MAC has alto sectionals this morning, so we got up an hour early and then I gave her the small gift that I had gotten her (an M&M filled fan).  She seemed to like it and I hate to say the snack bag is now empty.

The decision to try to help her focus at school was to take the drawing journal and the manga away from her.  She was ok with it yesterday, but today it made me a "horrible Mom".  I don't understand why she doesn' t realize that if she did what she was supposed to do she would get everything back!

When I dropped her off at the school she refused to say anything to me.  It will be interesting to see how this afternoon goes.  I do wonder how angry she can get at me...oh, the joys of motherhood!

How do I help?

It has been a disappointing few days.  On Tuesday I received a call from the school, MAC was having an issue.  They had been pleased that she had used her emergency pass to get out of class but when it was time to go back to class she started to be unpleasant.  After an hour of this behavior the school called to say that they felt she should go home.

We had a short conference with the Vice-Principal, guidance counselor and the school psychologist.    None of us could get her to tell us what the problem was.  While at the school she was uncommunicative and hostile, by the time we got home she was contrite and very self-depreciating.  I just don’t understand how her mind works.

I got an e-mail from her math teacher Wednesday.  She says that MAC doesn’t even try, when she was cleaning the classroom up she found all of MACs notes still on her desk and was asking for any helpful tips I might have.  After all these years and all the books I’ve read I just don’t have any tricks/tips that we’ve tried that really work for any length of time.  How do you help someone who feels they don’t need help?

Let's Try....

After having to call the school to get a copy of her current report card I was surprised that she passed most of her classes.  It wasn't pretty and she will never get into college with the grades she received but I am trying to be hopeful.  She did not pass two core subjects and that has me worried.

She has been behaving well and the call from the school that came in on Friday was one that praised her for leaving a situation before it got out of hand.

She and I seem to have come to a shaky truce, I only harp on the items that must be done and she only yells that she hates me when she needs a break.

What Now?

The third quarter has begun at CMS.  We had meetings with the teachers, we have spoken with the doctors, and we have worked with her yet MAC is still in her own little world and although she says she understands what she needs to do I continue to get e-mails from teachers saying that she isn't turning in homework and not paying attention in class.

I am not sure what to do now.  I have been trying to give her freedom to make her own decisions but am now in the position of having to worry about her truly failing this school year.