Today was another set of appointments. The first was with the Boys and Girls Club "ACE Program". It was an "intake" interview. She had to wear her uniform and could only take her three ring binder, a pencil and her lunch. This made me telling her to leave her hat and her drawing journal in the car not so fun.
The interview went much better when they told her she could bring her journal in and draw in it after she had finished her school work. I brought in a sullen mad girl and left a young lady who was talking nicely with the different teachers. Hubby picked her up at noon and said that he was met by MAC and two teachers who said that she had a good day and that they had worked hard on "letting things go".
I ran to work for a few hours and then headed to the second meeting. It was with the school. I went in thinking that I was going to have a parent/teacher conference, a 504 meeting and a manifestation meeting. When I got to the school I found out that the 504 and manifestation meeting had been cancelled, due to the death of the guidance counselors’ parent. It was disappointing not to get everything done at once, but understandable.
I left the school and followed the school buses out. Not something fun to do. I was told to call back next week and reschedule.
MAC and I talked about what she would need to do when she goes back to school. This includes her getting signatures from each of teachers every day, going to help day for all the core classes, and the teachers trying to find her a more quiet spot to eat lunch in. I have now had a chance to speak one on one with all her teachers and they can put a face to a name.
I was glad to find out from her science teacher that she has a child who has several of the same diagnosis as MAC, so hearing how MAC reacts to things was helpful for her.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
...Trying to find his way home
Although I love Glee and the time it allows me to spend with my daughter tonight definitely hit a little close to home. Tonight’s episode debated the existence of God while we followed the collapse and hospitalization of a characters parent. After last Wednesday the songs had me in tears several times.
MAC and I made it through both of her appointments today. The neurologist said that her medication wasn't working as well as it had been, keeping the seizures under control, because her body has changed size. She said unless MAC has another seizure that we could make our next appointment for 6 months. We got to our second appointment about a half hour early but did not get seen until about a half hour after our appointment time.
She had a good talk with the talk therapist today and she seems ready to go to the ACE program tomorrow. She has a clean uniform and promises me that her binder is ready to go.
The last song in Glee tonight was the first one I thought of when I figured out what the episode was about, One of Us. "If God had a name, would you call it to his face? If you were faced with him in all his glory what would you ask him if you had just one question?"
You can see the video and hear the song at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4CRkpBGQzU
MAC and I made it through both of her appointments today. The neurologist said that her medication wasn't working as well as it had been, keeping the seizures under control, because her body has changed size. She said unless MAC has another seizure that we could make our next appointment for 6 months. We got to our second appointment about a half hour early but did not get seen until about a half hour after our appointment time.
She had a good talk with the talk therapist today and she seems ready to go to the ACE program tomorrow. She has a clean uniform and promises me that her binder is ready to go.
The last song in Glee tonight was the first one I thought of when I figured out what the episode was about, One of Us. "If God had a name, would you call it to his face? If you were faced with him in all his glory what would you ask him if you had just one question?"
You can see the video and hear the song at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4CRkpBGQzU
Monday, October 4, 2010
More doctors appointments
Tomorrow is appointment day. We have a follow up with the seizure doctor, where we have to say, unfortunately that she had one a few weeks ago. Then we get to go to her talk therapist. There we get to explain what happened last week and the consequences. I will then bring her home and drop her off for her father to take care of.
I have taken the first 4 hours off from work. I had expected to work a little late to make up some of the time while she was at the afterschool program but I guess that won't be happening now. I told her father tonight that I am almost out of leave. She starts the other program on Wednesday morning. We will need to drive her to the program and pick her up since they don't have transportation from CES. I get to go to school for a parent teacher conference Wednesday afternoon and I am praying that it is beneficial.
Yes, I have several questions that I plan to ask: the school therapist was supposed to do some in class observation, MAC has come home saying that the teachers have refused to sign her homework form, and she has had several issues with the Italian teacher. I hope to be able to get some answers from the school and to get more information about the October 23 meeting.
I am hoping that the seizure doctor will just have us come back in 6 months and that the talk therapist will discuss other ways she could have behaved on Friday. I am looking forward to lunch tomorrow, I’m planning on take out from my favorite restaurant.
I am happy that it has finally stopped raining, now if only it would warm up just a little!
I have taken the first 4 hours off from work. I had expected to work a little late to make up some of the time while she was at the afterschool program but I guess that won't be happening now. I told her father tonight that I am almost out of leave. She starts the other program on Wednesday morning. We will need to drive her to the program and pick her up since they don't have transportation from CES. I get to go to school for a parent teacher conference Wednesday afternoon and I am praying that it is beneficial.
Yes, I have several questions that I plan to ask: the school therapist was supposed to do some in class observation, MAC has come home saying that the teachers have refused to sign her homework form, and she has had several issues with the Italian teacher. I hope to be able to get some answers from the school and to get more information about the October 23 meeting.
I am hoping that the seizure doctor will just have us come back in 6 months and that the talk therapist will discuss other ways she could have behaved on Friday. I am looking forward to lunch tomorrow, I’m planning on take out from my favorite restaurant.
I am happy that it has finally stopped raining, now if only it would warm up just a little!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Linda Ellerbe
Dad called today to tell me about a special on Nickelodeon tonight. Mom called while I was on my way to work to tell me that Dad had left the message.
Tonight's special was about bullying and how several students in the last few years have taken their own lives after being bullied or cyerbullied. There were several students on the show with her talking about how they were bullied or how they bullied others.
MAC and I watched the show together. I asked her questions during the show about how she felt and if she felt like some of the students. She said that it seems as if the teachers don't do anything in the classroomThey tell the children that they are there to "teach them". It was a theme throughout the whole show, a student would be bullied, they would tell the teacher, then the school administration and nothing would happen, after a while the student would get fed up with it and feel that there was no other way out but to kill themselves.
By the end of the show she was tired of my asking questions and left.
It was a great way to spend 20 minutes. I hope that it helped MAC to see that she is not the only one who has issues at school. Hopefully it also will remind her that there are ways to deal with being bullied and not all them are physical. Thank you Linda Ellerbe!
On a separate note, I wish to thank MES. I know you have been calling and I truly appreciate the surprise I came home to tonight! Chocolate covered oranges are delicious!!
Tonight's special was about bullying and how several students in the last few years have taken their own lives after being bullied or cyerbullied. There were several students on the show with her talking about how they were bullied or how they bullied others.
MAC and I watched the show together. I asked her questions during the show about how she felt and if she felt like some of the students. She said that it seems as if the teachers don't do anything in the classroomThey tell the children that they are there to "teach them". It was a theme throughout the whole show, a student would be bullied, they would tell the teacher, then the school administration and nothing would happen, after a while the student would get fed up with it and feel that there was no other way out but to kill themselves.
By the end of the show she was tired of my asking questions and left.
It was a great way to spend 20 minutes. I hope that it helped MAC to see that she is not the only one who has issues at school. Hopefully it also will remind her that there are ways to deal with being bullied and not all them are physical. Thank you Linda Ellerbe!
On a separate note, I wish to thank MES. I know you have been calling and I truly appreciate the surprise I came home to tonight! Chocolate covered oranges are delicious!!
Friday, October 1, 2010
What doesn't kill us...
Today was the last of a very hellacious week. I won't go into details but suffice to say it involved the police department, suspension, and lots of tears.
When I started the blog I had help from my friend K. She was the one who suggested all the bamboo as my background. She suggested it because of the following story:
African story, a parable by Emmaus-Katigamu.
The story of the bamboo
Once upon a time there was a farmer who had two gardens. One was in the mountains and the other was in the plains. The farmer loved both gardens very much. But in particular he loved one tree in the mountain garden. This tree was a bamboo.
Bamboo was very tall and very beautiful. The farmer used to visit Bamboo every evening to admire and enjoy her beauty. When the farmer was visiting, Bamboo would always dance beautifully, which made the farmer even happier. The farmer loved Bamboo very much, much more than other trees.
It so happened that there was once a drought in the plains, and the lower garden started to dry. The drought was so severe that the plants started to die off. The farmer was desperate to find a way of watering this garden. There was plenty of water in the mountains, but he had no way of taking the water to the plains. Then the farmer remembered his friend Bamboo.
So the farmer went to Bamboo one evening and they started talking. "Bamboo," said the farmer, "I love you a great deal."
Bamboo was very happy. Dancing, she responded, "I too love you so much, master." The master was pleased.
"So now, Bamboo," said the master, "I want to use you."
"I am ready, master," answered Bamboo.
"But there is one condition," the master went on. "In order to use you, I must cut you down."
Bamboo was grieved and very disturbed. "Master," said Bamboo, "you say you love me. Why then do you want to destroy me?"
"Bamboo," the master said, "I don't want to destroy you, I want to use you. But in order for you to be usable to me, I must cut you. If you are not ready to be cut, I cannot use you."
Bamboo was most unhappy, because she feared the pain. But because she loved the master and trusted him, she decided to let the master go on. So the master took a hatchet and cut down Bamboo. It was very painful.
The master said, "Good, but there is some more work to do on you; I have to chop off your branches."
Bamboo complained even more. "Master, you want to kill me now." The master remained silent; and seeing that he was serious, Bamboo decided to submit. The master took his hatchet again and cleaned off the branches until Bamboo was very clean. Then he said, "This is really good, Bamboo, but there is still one last thing. I have to pop out your inside."
Bamboo was terrified. The last two steps had been painful enough, but to pop out her inside -- that was unthinkable. Bamboo struggled with this. But then the master said, "I cannot use you unless I pop out your inside." Seeing that the master was serious, Bamboo again submitted.
The master took an iron rod and popped out the inside until Bamboo was hollow. It was extremely painful. But Bamboo was now ready to be used.
The master used Bamboo as a pipe to connect his two gardens. Soon water started to flow from the mountain garden into the garden in the plains. The plants were revived. Seeing her usefulness, both Bamboo and the master were very happy. They ended up greater friends than before.
When I started the blog I had help from my friend K. She was the one who suggested all the bamboo as my background. She suggested it because of the following story:
African story, a parable by Emmaus-Katigamu.
The story of the bamboo
Once upon a time there was a farmer who had two gardens. One was in the mountains and the other was in the plains. The farmer loved both gardens very much. But in particular he loved one tree in the mountain garden. This tree was a bamboo.
Bamboo was very tall and very beautiful. The farmer used to visit Bamboo every evening to admire and enjoy her beauty. When the farmer was visiting, Bamboo would always dance beautifully, which made the farmer even happier. The farmer loved Bamboo very much, much more than other trees.
It so happened that there was once a drought in the plains, and the lower garden started to dry. The drought was so severe that the plants started to die off. The farmer was desperate to find a way of watering this garden. There was plenty of water in the mountains, but he had no way of taking the water to the plains. Then the farmer remembered his friend Bamboo.
So the farmer went to Bamboo one evening and they started talking. "Bamboo," said the farmer, "I love you a great deal."
Bamboo was very happy. Dancing, she responded, "I too love you so much, master." The master was pleased.
"So now, Bamboo," said the master, "I want to use you."
"I am ready, master," answered Bamboo.
"But there is one condition," the master went on. "In order to use you, I must cut you down."
Bamboo was grieved and very disturbed. "Master," said Bamboo, "you say you love me. Why then do you want to destroy me?"
"Bamboo," the master said, "I don't want to destroy you, I want to use you. But in order for you to be usable to me, I must cut you. If you are not ready to be cut, I cannot use you."
Bamboo was most unhappy, because she feared the pain. But because she loved the master and trusted him, she decided to let the master go on. So the master took a hatchet and cut down Bamboo. It was very painful.
The master said, "Good, but there is some more work to do on you; I have to chop off your branches."
Bamboo complained even more. "Master, you want to kill me now." The master remained silent; and seeing that he was serious, Bamboo decided to submit. The master took his hatchet again and cleaned off the branches until Bamboo was very clean. Then he said, "This is really good, Bamboo, but there is still one last thing. I have to pop out your inside."
Bamboo was terrified. The last two steps had been painful enough, but to pop out her inside -- that was unthinkable. Bamboo struggled with this. But then the master said, "I cannot use you unless I pop out your inside." Seeing that the master was serious, Bamboo again submitted.
The master took an iron rod and popped out the inside until Bamboo was hollow. It was extremely painful. But Bamboo was now ready to be used.
The master used Bamboo as a pipe to connect his two gardens. Soon water started to flow from the mountain garden into the garden in the plains. The plants were revived. Seeing her usefulness, both Bamboo and the master were very happy. They ended up greater friends than before.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
"I Love You"
Today didn't get much better. I really didn't want to get up this morning and Nicole didn't make me want to do anything other than curl up in my blankets and continue sleeping.
I have to say that we have had so much rain I better not hear anything about Maryland being in a drought again for a very long time. According to WJZ, Annapolis had 6 inches of rain drop by 2pm this afternoon. I was surprised that it seemed like a wind storm had also come through, there were a lot of branches down and lots of broken limbs on all of the roads coming home.
I got a phone call from the school at around 9am. In the middle of one of the heaviest rain falls I get a call that MAC has been throwing up. Apparently she got on the transfer bus and threw up and then threw up a few more times at school. The nurse called and asked that we come pick her up right away.
When I called Hubby I had him on one line and the school on the other. My office is in a dead zone so I had to hang up on him and finish talking to the school. After I hung up with the school I tried to call Hubby back but he didn't pick up again.
I called the "talk" therapist’s office and cancelled the appointment for today, I scheduled the next appointment with the "talk" therapist, I called the church to tell them about Grandma, I called my RenFest boss and let him know what was going on, and I did some actual work today. I didn't go to band practice at work today or PoP Music tonight, I just didn't have the energy. I am hoping that I will start feeling more like myself tomorrow.
MAC took the news of Great Nana's death better than I expected. She was sad but continued to get herself ready for school. She did ask if there was going to be a funeral and said that she would like to talk to the "talk" therapist about her sad feelings. She was very quiet in the car and didn't want to play our usual hangman game but she did say she loved me as she left the car this morning.
I know I don't say it often enough but a death always makes me want to remind those I care about: I love you. I'm glad that we met and that you are a part of my life. Thank you for all your well wishes and prayers.
I have to say that we have had so much rain I better not hear anything about Maryland being in a drought again for a very long time. According to WJZ, Annapolis had 6 inches of rain drop by 2pm this afternoon. I was surprised that it seemed like a wind storm had also come through, there were a lot of branches down and lots of broken limbs on all of the roads coming home.
I got a phone call from the school at around 9am. In the middle of one of the heaviest rain falls I get a call that MAC has been throwing up. Apparently she got on the transfer bus and threw up and then threw up a few more times at school. The nurse called and asked that we come pick her up right away.
When I called Hubby I had him on one line and the school on the other. My office is in a dead zone so I had to hang up on him and finish talking to the school. After I hung up with the school I tried to call Hubby back but he didn't pick up again.
I called the "talk" therapist’s office and cancelled the appointment for today, I scheduled the next appointment with the "talk" therapist, I called the church to tell them about Grandma, I called my RenFest boss and let him know what was going on, and I did some actual work today. I didn't go to band practice at work today or PoP Music tonight, I just didn't have the energy. I am hoping that I will start feeling more like myself tomorrow.
MAC took the news of Great Nana's death better than I expected. She was sad but continued to get herself ready for school. She did ask if there was going to be a funeral and said that she would like to talk to the "talk" therapist about her sad feelings. She was very quiet in the car and didn't want to play our usual hangman game but she did say she loved me as she left the car this morning.
I know I don't say it often enough but a death always makes me want to remind those I care about: I love you. I'm glad that we met and that you are a part of my life. Thank you for all your well wishes and prayers.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
My Grandma
I had one of the roughest mornings I can remember today. Somewhere between waking MAC up and getting up myself I fell back asleep. I even remember calling to MAC and saying "Don't turn on that TV you have reading to do!" and her answering me with, "Right." I know I did this! The next thing I remember is Marty Bass saying that today's "coffee with" was an interview with Bruce Bridegroom and knowing that meant that it was 6:45am and YES that meant that I had to get out of bed NOW!
MAC was up and had gotten her shower and was downstairs reading, or so I thought. When I got downstairs the TV was on and she was watching Family Matters and drawing. No she had not eaten any breakfast, no she had not started her 20 minutes of reading, no she had not taken her morning pills, no she hadn't gotten her lunch together (or even put her lunchbox where I could find it to put things in!) I was not happy.
When we finally left the house and I looked at the clock it was 7:18am. The bus has been arriving at 7:20. I sped all the way to Aberdeen and Riedel where the stupid stop light caught me. I watched the school bus as it passed us on its way to CES. Of course these are the days when you get stuck behind the slowest person on the road too! We got to the bus stop as the bus was pulling in to pick up. MAC was in a hurry and jumped out of the car and ran accross the street to CES so she could catch the bus before it pulled away.
The rough morning turned into a rough afternoon and evening. When I got in to work I got a phone call from my Mom. She wanted to tell me that my Grandma was not doing well and although she and Dad had planned to come up and visit for the weekend, they thought they were going to change plans and go visit Grandma in Tulsa.
About 2 hours later she called again to say that they were going to Tulsa and she would call later with news.
In the meantime I went and picked MAC up from school for her appointment with the "Prescribing doctor". It started well, she even like the snack that I had for her. Half way through the appointment she got mad and stopped talking to both the Dr. and me. I couldn't get her to talk again until we got home when she asked if she could just go upstairs and sleep.
While I was out this evening I got a phone call from my Dad. He said that he had just gotten a phone call from my Aunt and that Grandma had passed away. I have never seen a montage but I suddenly saw the last time we were together: looking through the photo album, going to church with her, having lunch with her at my Aunt's house, and giving hugs and kisses.
My Grandma was a teacher for years and I still remember her retirement party. There were so many people who were there to wish her well in the next phase of her life. I know seeing all her students helped me to decide to get my teaching degree.
I remember going to the library where she was volunteering. I love books and I thought it was great that she got to work with books everyday.
I remember the last time she came out to Maryland. It was sad and happy at the same time, Christmas is always a happy time for me but knowing that it was her last trip out was sad.
When I told MAC that Great Nana was not doing so well this afternoon, she asked if we were going to go visit. I had to say no. We talked about the last time we saw Great Nana and how wonderful it was to remember the hugs and having lunch. We talked about it being ok to be sad and that she could talk to her "talk therapist" tomorrow or me if she wanted. I hope that I can convey the fact that Grandma is in a better place tomorrow when I tell her that she has passed away.
This was us just a little over a year ago for Grandma's 90th Birthday.
MAC was up and had gotten her shower and was downstairs reading, or so I thought. When I got downstairs the TV was on and she was watching Family Matters and drawing. No she had not eaten any breakfast, no she had not started her 20 minutes of reading, no she had not taken her morning pills, no she hadn't gotten her lunch together (or even put her lunchbox where I could find it to put things in!) I was not happy.
When we finally left the house and I looked at the clock it was 7:18am. The bus has been arriving at 7:20. I sped all the way to Aberdeen and Riedel where the stupid stop light caught me. I watched the school bus as it passed us on its way to CES. Of course these are the days when you get stuck behind the slowest person on the road too! We got to the bus stop as the bus was pulling in to pick up. MAC was in a hurry and jumped out of the car and ran accross the street to CES so she could catch the bus before it pulled away.
The rough morning turned into a rough afternoon and evening. When I got in to work I got a phone call from my Mom. She wanted to tell me that my Grandma was not doing well and although she and Dad had planned to come up and visit for the weekend, they thought they were going to change plans and go visit Grandma in Tulsa.
About 2 hours later she called again to say that they were going to Tulsa and she would call later with news.
In the meantime I went and picked MAC up from school for her appointment with the "Prescribing doctor". It started well, she even like the snack that I had for her. Half way through the appointment she got mad and stopped talking to both the Dr. and me. I couldn't get her to talk again until we got home when she asked if she could just go upstairs and sleep.
While I was out this evening I got a phone call from my Dad. He said that he had just gotten a phone call from my Aunt and that Grandma had passed away. I have never seen a montage but I suddenly saw the last time we were together: looking through the photo album, going to church with her, having lunch with her at my Aunt's house, and giving hugs and kisses.
My Grandma was a teacher for years and I still remember her retirement party. There were so many people who were there to wish her well in the next phase of her life. I know seeing all her students helped me to decide to get my teaching degree.
I remember going to the library where she was volunteering. I love books and I thought it was great that she got to work with books everyday.
I remember the last time she came out to Maryland. It was sad and happy at the same time, Christmas is always a happy time for me but knowing that it was her last trip out was sad.
When I told MAC that Great Nana was not doing so well this afternoon, she asked if we were going to go visit. I had to say no. We talked about the last time we saw Great Nana and how wonderful it was to remember the hugs and having lunch. We talked about it being ok to be sad and that she could talk to her "talk therapist" tomorrow or me if she wanted. I hope that I can convey the fact that Grandma is in a better place tomorrow when I tell her that she has passed away.
This was us just a little over a year ago for Grandma's 90th Birthday.
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