Talent show

Yesterday MAC was able to perform an original song for the School Talent Show.  She had a good time and although was disappointed that she did not win a trophy and gift card (boy did she want the $25 to Cold Stone) she said she just really likes performing on stage.

I am glad to hear that.  I have been a little worried that although she has a wonderful voice the last few disappointing auditions would sour her on performing.

She is interested in maybe trying out for the musical which both her father and I support.  I hope that school continues to be “interesting” for her.

Disappointment

The first major disappointment of the year happened on the 6^th.  MAC found out that she did not audition into the women’s choir.  Auditions were held on the 4^th and she didn’t check the list until the 6^th when she had chorus class.

It was a great disappointment for her and she didn’t even go into class that day because she felt if she wasn’t good enough for the women’s choir, she didn’t want to go somewhere that she wasn’t wanted.  It took us the whole weekend to convince her that she had a lovely voice and that she should continue to sing.

 We didn’t quite understand why she didn’t make it and I sent off an e-mail to the director on Friday to which I received the following answer on Monday:

With regrards to MAC not being selected for our women's choir:  I can tell you that, although she has a big, Broadway type voice, that is not the refined, controlled type of voice I was looking for to add to an ensemble which performs mostly classical choral repertoire.  

We didn’t quite understand why she didn’t make it and I sent off an e-mail to the director on Friday to which I received the following answer on Monday:

She felt that everyone else who auditioned got in and felt very aggrieved until she found out that the school’s anime club met on Thursday’s too.

When she got picked up from Anime club last week she was very excited and said, “I’ve Found my PEOPLE!”

Hallelujah

Well here we are almost done with the second week of school.  MAC has tried out for the Choralaries (women’s chorus) and has asked that I contact the Anime Club sponsor to see when they meet.  She has made it through six days without needing her stress pass and being able to sit in the cafeteria during lunch.

I have been very proud of her remembering to put her house key in the same pocket, being able to put her hands on the $100 graphing calculator when I have asked to see it, and waking up when I ask.  We have reverted back to her asking for an extra 5 minutes (I’m her personal snooze button) which I usually give her.

She has changed girls groups and is now in the high school group which meets on Wednesday evenings.  Most of the girls from the Middle School group moved with her but it seems as if all of the parents are getting tired of a 5:30 group that doesn’t start until 6:05.  Hubby has been wondering if we need to change practices, I’m not sure…

Life hasn’t quite fallen into a pattern yet but it is getting there.

Things that Make you go “Huh?”

For the second day in a row I have woken MAC up before I left for work.  She has been unhappy to have to get up so early, but has done it when I remind her that school starts in __ days.  I know that I have read studies that state that teenagers work better when they sleep later but school will be starting on Monday and that means she will have to be up and at school ready for the day by the time I have been waking her up!

I guess that tomorrow will be closer to 6:30 instead of 7 (which is going to be the time that we’ll have to leave the house!).  I have told her that I will drop her off so she only has to ride the bus home.  This means that I’ll have to be getting up earlier too!  ***Sigh***

Why high school starts so early and the elementary school (you know those kids that wake up at the crack of dawn!) starts so late I’ll never understand.  A lot of the parents I’ve spoken with have the same question, if the older kids do better if they sleep later why not start school later?  If they switched the High School and Elementary school times the kids would be working when they are really awake and there would still be time to do after school activities.

You would think the “powers that be” could figure this out.  Oh well, here's to the start of school!  :) 

A Summer of Growing

It has been much to long since I last blogged, please forgive me.  I have been trying to work a few things out in my head before I put them on the internet where as my mother says, “they’ll stay forever”.

It has been a pleasant summer here on the East Coast.  MAC has figured out that since she doesn’t have any place to be that she can sleep in as late as she wants, which most days is until well after 10am.  When school starts next week it is going to be hard for her to wake  up at 6am!  We have tried to get her to wake up and start her day a little earlier but she has been saying, “It’s Summer!”

She did the horse camp again this year for 4 days in July.  They said that they saw a lot of progress since last year and hoped that she would come back again next year.  She says that she really enjoyed it and even though she missed her father and I she would like to go back.  I think she enjoyed the tubing, boating, and swimming too.

She and I will be going to the high school on Friday to “check it out”.  We may get to meet the teachers if they’re in, and if nothing else we should get her schedule and be able to walk out where her classrooms are.  She starts on Monday (and luckily it will only be the 9^th graders).

I see so much more maturity in her and look forward to her moving forward!

Happy Anniversary!

Happy two year anniversary every one!  It is hard to believe that 2 years ago I was sitting at the Caribou with a Newused laptop and a thought to put our story "out there".  MAC was still in middle school and we were hoping for a better year.

 Now here we are, the summer between middle school and high school...the start of a new adventure.  Not much has changed, we are still hoping for a better year and less calls from the school.

She and I talked about school supplies and what she thought she might need or use this year.  The school supply sales are beginning and you can find lined paper for .25 a ream. All she wants is lots of .9 pencils and erasers.  (Of course none of those are for taking notes, just for drawing.)   This is not the best of starts is it?

I promise that I will work harder at posting this year.  Happy Anniversary!

What to do over the summer?

I know that MAC is getting tired of everyone asking her what she's doing for the summer.  While we have had several hic-ups with camps and such in the past there wasn't really anything available for her now that she has hit the teen-age years.

There are a lot of sports camps available and there is even a chorus camp.  Unfortunately all of those require that she work in co-operative groups, not on her own.  I don't want to "set her up" for failure as I know that being in the hot sun/humidity and having to watch what she does/says will put her in a horrible mood and then if one person does something she doesn't like I'd be getting a phone call.

No, I have been a horrible mother and made her stay home by herself this summer.  She has done exactly what she wants to do for 5 weeks.  She and her cousin, Aunt, and Grand Parents went to spend a week at a time share in Virginia where she got to go to the pool every day.  Next week she'll take a week long trip to Virginia to stay with her Grand Parents while she does a 2 hour a day horse camp.  She is looking forward to that.

Summer is great and relaxing for her.  Her favorite phrase is "it's summer, I'm not supposed to learn!"  We went veggie picking at a friend's garden yesterday and she did learn about honey bees.  It was nice to hear her asking questions and figuring things out.

To paraphrase Phineas and Ferb, "Four more weeks of summer vacation, and school comes along just to end it.  So the annual problem for our generation is finding a good way to spend it!"

Almost Happy

Well here we are a little over a month since the end of school and MAC is still enjoying her self. She has been having a great time sleeping in and then eating what ever she can find in the house.  It has been a great time for her and she has even says that she is "almost happy".  She is still looking forward to the rest of the summer.  I am counting down the weeks until school starts again.

I will be contacting the school in the next week to set up our walk through and hopefully get a copy of her schedule.  She isn't looking too forward to that...

MAC's end of the year speech

Each of the 8th graders were asked to submit a speech for the final awards presentation.  The following is what MAC wrote:

Hello.  It’s me, MAC.  Now I know I’m not interesting or nice to be around, but I would be honored if you would hear me out.  So this is it.  The time when we look back onto our most precious memories at this school.  Heh!  It’s funny, I haven’t even been here that  long and still…I already have so many memories of his place.  Like when I first came here at the end of the first quarter of school.  Every moment I was at the borderline of tears because I didn’t want to leave my old school.  People kept trying to tell me that it was for the best and that it wasn’t meant to be.  My response, ptoie!  I didn’t believe in that crud.  Why was this whole fate thing so important?  The idea of fate was stupid to me.  I mean, it’s creepy how many people think that your life was planned out before we were even born.  I never really even thought about fate.  I mean, fate is the reason why I have disabilities.  Fate is the reason why my grandfather died.  Fate is the reason that I am who I am.  Many times, it felt as if fate was trying to hurt me or kill me.  Fate is cruel.  For me fate has never been good.  I’ve heard that fate is the law in the universe stating that everything happens for a reason.  But…why?  Why do people believe in that malarkey?  Fate doesn’t exist…does it?  Maybe it’s not real.  Maybe people are just fooling themselves. 

If fate is real, then what’s the purpose for my inner and outer turmoil?  I pondered on that question for a long time before I came to my conclusion.  If I wasn’t me, then I would have never gotten accepted to BMS.  I wouldn’t have the talents that I have.  But most important I wouldn’t have the friends that I hold near and dear to my heart.  When I realized this, I was able to hold my head up high and keep moving forward.  No matter how mad I get, I can keep going.

I know that not everyone is liked, I get that.  But even so I can keep holding on to my life.  BMS served it’s purpose for me.  And this school has done so as well, but in a better way.  I’ve met so many wonderful people.  Yeah, some still get on my nerves but…they still made my life more interesting.  They kept me young.  So this is it?  The time when we say goodbye to our lives together?  NO!  We don’t have to say goodbye.  What we have to do is welcome in the change.  Change may be hard for us, but not impossible.   

Change is why I’ve met all you wonderful people.  And I hope…that you all…remember me…yeah, pretty cheesy, I know.  But hey, embrace the meaning of my name, right?

Seriously, please remember me…not as a violent freak, but as someone who has been through so much and can still find it in her heart to wish everyone here happiness. 

How Many Days?

So here we are on the 25^th of May and unbelievable to me is that in two weeks school will be done!  The 2011-12 year will be behind us and the new adventure of high school will be awaiting.  She has had her classes assigned and we are trying to schedule a tour of the new school.

As usual here we are at the end of the year trying desperately to keep her from failing by making her do make up work.  She has had several group projects that she didn’t do with the group and has had to do on her own (which, actually makes her happier) and there have been several choral concerts that she has had.  She has a college report that was due Monday and that she just wrote yesterday.  

I hate the fact that every year she seems to be able to pull a “pass” because I get so mean and force her to do the work that she knows she should have done earlier in the quarter.   Sometimes I think I should just let her fail, of course, when I say that to her, she says I am the reason she has “such low self-esteem”.

This Memorial Day Weekend I wish to thank all those that have served.  Your sacrifice is appreciated.

You Need to “Forget” more often…

Today MAC looked at me and said, “You need to forget to fill my pill case more often!”    I haven’t been feeling so well (a cough that is in my chest and a sore throat) and after going to church on Sunday morning I have really not felt like doing too much.  

For the most part I have tried to get some rest, and drink lots of water.  The house is a total wreck and I feel like I have been put through the wringer when I get home from work.  I feel like I’m pretty much collapsing into bed and although I can’t actually get to sleep I just don’t have the strength to move.  I have had her take only the medications that have been prescribed for her and not all the extra vitamins.  She is really happy to only have to take two pills in the morning and one in the evening instead of five in the morning and four in the evening.

I will "forget" for the rest of the week and then start again on Saturday.  :)

To promote or not to promote…

Ok, I know I didn’t post a second time last week and here we are almost at the end of this week but here I am.  After the rough start last week things did seem to calm down a little for MAC.  She hasn’t completely found her footing but seems to finally be seeing a small niche that she might fit into at CMS.  Of course we are down to the last few weeks of school.

There was another follow up meeting with the IEP team and we are one step closer to making things happen.  It is so frustrating that there are so many steps required and that although we have done most of them they need to be re-done before they can issue an IEP.  One of the biggest items to come out of that meeting is that the “team” does not feel holding her in 8^th grade another would be beneficial.  As always there was the: “the high school has more services they can offer” and “if she stays here and does nothing all we could do is send her to Phoenix where there is no music or art”.

I don’t know how to feel, she has made friends who will be going to the high school but promoting her without her knowing what she should at the end of 8^th grade seems ridiculous to me.  MAC has said that even if she is kept back that she doesn’t want to be there and will do the same thing next year.

I’m Baaaaack….

So after several weeks of no communication I felt that I needed to post this week.  After this morning, I just couldn’t put it off.

Conversation in the car on way to school:

Mom—Sorry we’re late this morning, I didn’t go back downstairs last night to put all your pills into the case.

MAC—PROCRASTINATOR!

Mom--..Says the girl that hasn’t taken a single not all school  year long…

MAC—There’s nothing noteworthy that’s happened

Mom—and that is why I don’t want you to be upset if you have to repeat 8^th grade at CMS!

MAC—You know how you and Dad are always telling me not to think the bad stuff is going to happen?  Well, you’re the reason I think all the bad stuff is going to happen!

I don’t want to be a procrastinator any more!  So here is today’s post, and yes, I think I might even do another post later this week…