Happy Memorial Day

I would like to start the blog by saying thank you to all the veterans.   Thank you to those who are serving and are in harms way.  Thank you to the service members families for lending us your loved one.  Know that we understand that freedom is not free.

The three of us took a long weekend.  We went to see my parents and had a great time.  They have recently purchased a pontoon boat and got a free inner tube with the purchase.  On Saturday we went to see a movie because the weather man said there was a 60% chance of rain.  We came out of the movie and the sun was shining so we went and had a nice boat ride.

We skipped church on Sunday and were able to go out on the boat again.  We took the boat to a restaurant for lunch.  It took us about 45 minutes to get there by boat.  Apparently it would have taken almost an hour and a half to get there by car.  It was really fun to "tie up" and step off a boat to head for lunch.

After lunch we found a secluded cove and put MAC on the tube.  For the first 2 tries she fell off kind of quickly.  Hubby got on and we were able to figure out a little bit more about how fast the boat needed to go etc...If you check the Facebook page you will see a photo of MAC on the tube being pulled around the lake.

We made it home today around 2:30 and after picking up the car that had had some problems Friday afternoon, we spent a nice evening together.  Hopefully you had a great long weekend!

What a Week!

This whole week seems to just be going down the toilet.  Monday and Tuesday were just plain crazy.  Wednesday was dinner with SMom, which while fun and informative still had us out of the house longer than expected and nothing was done (including homework).  Thursday was spent at home and you would think that we would have a clean house and clean clothes but no...Hubby was doing laundry at 11 last night and I got up at 5:30 and started to do more laundry.

We will be on the road Friday evening with all the other crazies.  I hate the traffic but love seeing Mom and Dad.

MAC has really enjoyed the week.  Although she did have to do a survey as homework on Tuesday she has not worked on any of the other homework this week.  Friday is Field day, so not only does she not have to wear "the uniform" but she doesn't have to worry about classes and homework.  She is so happy!

Dinner

Tonight did not go as planned.  When I left the house this morning we had our gym bags packed and planned to go to the gym for our "family work out" when we all got home this evening.

About 10am I go a text from Hubby saying that his step-mother had invited us out to dinner with his sister and her girls.  We decided to go to Applebee's, it is kid friendly and had food that we could all eat.  The three of us had a really fun time:  MAC and the girls played made up games and colored, Hubby, SMom, Sis and I were able to talk about Hubby's Dad.

Hubby went to visit his father today.  It was not a good visit, his Father knew Hubby's name but had him confused with the oldest son.  I think Hubby felt better by the end of dinner and although Alzheimer's and Dementia are not fun subjects, it was good to hear from someone who is dealing with it every day, how well or not he is doing.  SMom says that he is basically healthy, he is eating and as long as he sleeps and doesn't try to leave than he could lead a happy life for a long time.

Hubby's Dad is currently in a locked ward but SMom is planning on taking him to Florida where there is help for her taking care of him.  She needs a few months to get her Florida house ready.  But it looks as if we will be taking a trip to Florida soon.

Calm

We had one of the best mornings ever today.  She was got herself up and dressed in clean clothes, brushed her teeth, and had made her lunch with 10 minutes to spare before we had to leave the house. 

It was refreshing, that the school didn't call, work was crazy, and we had a nice family evening (even though MAC and Hubby were both not feeling well) which culminated in a short trip to Rita's.  We had a homemade dinner of healthful tacos (or taco salad), made from ground turkey, organic lettuce, tomatoes, and sauteed onions. 

I can only hope that the rest of the week goes so well. 

You're the Reason...

Saturday was our last PVA Saturday.  It was held at the school and each group had 3 rotations followed by a family picnic, and an Italian one man play.  MAC started with an acting class, followed with by a 3D art class, and ending with a DJ class.  I was very impressed with the way she handled herself during the three classes because she wasn't with a single one of her friends and did have a person whom she REALLY didn't get along with in her group.

She earned several buttons for the beginning.  Lunch was ok.  It was amazing to me how many kids didn't eat a sandwich but only the chips and cake.  MAC ate the smallest sandwich she could find and then had a bag of chips, 1 1/2 cookies, and two pieces of chocolate cake.  She and her friend TB dueled Yu-Gi-Oh before going in for the awards ceremony and play.

During the awards ceremony she was restless (of the 9 awards only 1 of her friends won one) and then during the play, although the actor asked for audience participation she was not on her best behavior.  That caused me to have to talk with her, and finally there was a blow up.  We had had several fun things we were going to do after the school day ended but I took her directly home instead.

She turned to me and said, "Did you ever think you're the reason I want to kill myself?"  Then she wouldn't talk to me for the next 3 hours.  The teenage years have definitely kicked in...

Being the Bug...

Today has not been a good day.  I know that as a mother you are not supposed to let your feelings dictate how you act toward your child but sometimes it is really hard to do otherwise.

I found out that one of my colleagues from downtown will be leaving us in less than 30 days.  I have been working with him for a year and he has one of those offices where the supervisor isn't helpful and more often than not pits one employee against the other.  He has not been happy and I know he is looking forward to leaving, but I'm not ready for him to leave.

Our travel manager left today for a 2 week vacation.  She was in "panic" mode today trying to get all the travel on her desk done before 4 this afternoon.  I got several e-mails that read something like this:  Dear xx, I can not help you with this travel today, I have forwarded your request to NLC and she will follow up with you as I am leaving for a 2 week vacation.

We had our Open House Wrap up over lunch.  Because we were talking about improvements that needed to be made next year it took us a little over an hour and a half.

There was a meeting with SI mail services this morning where I think they will be able to alleviate some of thee problems we have been having, and the most important thing is that they can take away the 6 foot mail machine.

I picked up Angel's beautiful pictures after work and had wanted to go buy a frame so I could take it to work on Monday, but Hubby and MAC didn't want to go to Target this evening.  I guess I'll go by myself tomorrow after I spend the day with MAC at school.  The new 504 points were supposed to go into effect today but nothing in the way of positive rewards came home.

I really feel like the bug today.  I know the weekend will get better, hopefully before 5pm on Sunday.

Best Intentions...

I meant for us to go to the gym tonight.  It is our first Wednesday without the Strengthening Families Program and we had decided to do a family activity to try to continue the good stuff we had learned.  I had the very best of intentions...

Our travel manager is going on a 2 week vacation starting Saturday so she is trying to clean her desk which means that I have been given several extra travels to do to help.  It was a late day at the office.  There was also ordering and personnel that still needed to be done as well.

By the time I got home it was a little late for all of us to go to the gym and Hubby and I had some mail that we had to go through.  I guess we'll try to get there later in the week...I know that I am really looking forward to the outdoor pool at the gym opening soon. 

MAC had a really fun time staying home and watching TV.  She kept looking puppy dog eyes at me and saying, do we really have to go?  When Hubby and I said no she was ecstatic.  I know those puppy dog eyes will be back if we decide to go to the gym later in the week.

Short memory...

I went with Hubby to visit his father, who is currently residing in a Rehabilitation Home.  Over the past few years he has fought and beat throat cancer, but it left him not able to swallow well.  As he increasingly drank his meals his behavior became more and more erratic.  In the last few months he has spent a lot of money and done some things that have had the family scratching their head.

I received a phone call from my sister in law saying that if Hubby wanted to say anything to him while he might still remember we needed to go see him soon.  When I told MAC where we were going, the first words out of her mouth were, "Can't I come?"  I said unfortunately not and she wanted to make sure that I told him how much she loves him.

Hubby was a little surprised because when they went to visit him at Christmas she left crying because Pop-pop couldn't be bothered to look at her hand made gift, and he kept telling them to leave.  Hubby said that this reminds him of how his Grandmother was.  She was a little over 90 though when she started having the dementia/Alzheimer's set in. 

We would like to have MAC's memories of Pop-pop be of the big man who had a hearty laugh, gruff "I love you's" and strong one armed hugs.

Pictures

Today was our visit with Angel Kidwell to order our pictures.  MAC had a doctor appointment for her first med check since getting out of IOP.  Things went well and we  kept the same meds at the same doses.

When I told MAC what I was planning on doing after the doctor appointment she was very excited and said that she wanted to go too.

We had several pictures to look at and we were able to purchase several wallet size photos so she can give some out to her friends at school.  She said, "isn't it kind of selfish to think they'd want a picture of me?"  I told her that they would want one to remember her by over the summer.

We met Angel at Caribou.  MAC got a medium cooler and I got a small iced white chocolate mocha.  It was a nice, relaxing afternoon and I can't wait to get my new fridge magnet!

Worn Out

Today was the Smithsonian Environmental Research Center's Open House on the bay.  It started for the public at 10.  Hubby and I got there around 7:30.  We did a lot of running around and trying to get things set up before the first bus arrived.

For the most part things were very good today.  There was rain early on.  Not only did it spritz for the first hour and half but at 11:30 it really started to rain and then the thunder started...It seemed as if the public really enjoyed itself.  We had to stop the boat rides for about an hour due to the thunder.

MAC had said she wanted to go and all the way until yesterday evening I thought she was going.  Last night she decided the weather was going to be too wet and yucky to go.

Hubby and I are ready to go to bed.  It is early but we feel as if we have been wrung through the wringer. 

Maybe not such a good end

“It’s just that I hate Friday the 13th. “ I asked her why and if she had gotten into trouble. She laughed and said, “YES”.


I asked her what happened and she said that she had to go to guidance twice today. She said she yelled in 2nd period and threw a tantrum in 4th period. She wouldn’t say what brought these things on, nor would she say what happened after.

It was a little surprising because I had a message from the guidance counselor today about the 504 meeting date and she didn’t mention anything about having seen MAC twice today. I guess I’ll need to talk to her about this too.

I am feeling so tired. I feel as if I need someone to meet me halfway, MAC, the school, the rest of the family…

Learning to remove oneself

I had this all ready to go last night, but blogger had other plans.  I tried to update this morning but Blogger was still down.  Here is yesterday's blog:

Today I received a phone call from the Guidance Counselor at MAC’s school. We went back and forth over what happened at the IEP meeting and where we need to go from here to help her be more successful.


I said that I was disappointed that the School Psychologist did not observe MAC in Italian class. He found that she was well behaved and transitioned well. I said that did not seem to be the case in Italian. The counselor told me that MAC had removed herself from Italian class today. She said that MAC used one of the “coping strategies” that the School Psychologist had given her and that her “anger was at a 7” and she needed to remove herself from the situation.

The counselor said that it was a step in the right direction for her. I too was very proud that she was able to keep things from escalating but wished that she could finish the year on a high note.

Final Week

Today was the last Strengthening Families program.  It started with new brain teasers such as:  how many animals did Moses take on the ark.  We had a family dinner as usual, tonight was stuffed shells with salad and bread sticks.  MAC wasn't too hungry so she only had one shell and no bread.  She was trying to be good and asked for water, it was funny that of the 14 weeks tonight was the only night they did not have any.

After dinner each of the groups (the children and the teenagers) presented the posters that they created about staying off drugs or not smoking.  The teenagers also presented a play and then we had a small talent show.  The talent in the group was amazing:  there was a guitar player, 3 singers, and a comedian.  After the talent show we all received certificates of completion.  One family (the one with 7 people) had perfect attendance!

After all the talent was shown and we each got our certificate there was a cake for everyone to share.  It was chocolate and vanilla.  There was a final incentive for reaching graduation:  6 Flags tickets, a free meal while at the park and a parking pass.

Everyone, including the instructors, seemed to be sad that 14 weeks had come and gone so quickly.  The reunion is Saturday and unfortunately we will be unable to attend since it is SERC's open house.  It sounded as if there might be another reunion around Christmas and I hope we'll be able to go to that one.  We made some very good acquaintances and MAC seemed to have gotten along well with several of the other teenagers.  It will be sad to not see them next week.

IEP meeting

Monday I had an IEPb meeting.  This means that it was the second meeting to determine if MAC should have an IEP.  The first meeting was held a little over a month ago.  There were several tests given over the course of a week.  (It also happened to be MSA week so she was tired of tests.)

Most of the tests came out with the information we expected:  she is "High Average" or "Above Average" in all academic testing and "Low Average" or "Below Average" in emotional or social emotional testing.  It was interesting to me to find out that even though she has 7 teachers only 1 was given the social/emotional scale to rate her on.  When I questioned this the Psychologist said that it was impossible to have all the teachers fill one out.  He also said that they only give these type of scales to "core" class teachers (the 4 main classes:  Math, Science, Social Studies, or Language Arts) since they see them every day.  He said that he didn't expect that any of the other teachers would have said much different since both Hubby and I had about the same answers.

I was disappointed that although the teacher that had filled out the survey was there, the guidance counselor whom we have worked the most with was unable to attend, the Vice-Principal who works exclusively with the 7th grade did not attend, and the Special Ed teacher who had given her the academic testing was not able to be there either.  The Psychologist was the same one that we have been talking with for the last two years and the school nurse came in about half way through the meeting.

Although there were a few significant findings the determination was that IEP's only address academic failings or behavior issues that happen daily.  It is so difficult to know what is the full truth and what is the system trying to make less work for themselves.

Hubby was upset with me because although he understands where my mind is he feels that the 504 plan gives us NO recourse if it is not followed.  I could not come up with anything to be able to put in the IEP which was solely academic.  The in school programs for special ed. have very significantly academically delayed students and everyone felt that she is fully capable of completing and comprehending the work in the classroom and just isn't.  The Psychologist said that the Phoenix school and the Monarch Academy that I had looked at were not options because she was not having daily issues.

MAC was called in after school and asked what we could do to help her be successful and she said she couldn't come up with anything.  I feel at a loss...how do you help someone who doesn't seem to want to accept the help?

Happy Mother's Day

I would like to start out by saying happy mother's day to all the mother's out there.  I know not everyone of you will get a "Happy mother's day" from your child, some of you might not even get a hug from your child.  There have been several mother's days where it seemed as if no one remembered that it was supposed to be special and there have even been some big fights.

I have to say that today was a very different day. As soon as MAC woke up she ran up stairs and said, "Happy Mother's DAY!"  She had a wonderful poem and hand drawn picture as a present for me.  She let me hug her and even let me kiss her twice.

We had a great lunch at my favorite restaurant, Otani, and then went to National Harbor Mall.  We wanted Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream.  There was quite a line but everyone was patient and when we finally left the store 15 minutes later everyone was very happy.  We enjoyed being by the harbor and the weather was beautiful!

Great End to the Week

Friday was a very LOOOONNNNGGGG day.  Hubby and I woke up at 3:15 and woke MAC up at 3:45.  The bus left the school at 5:00am and returned around 10:50pm.  The all Bates band, the all Bates Chorus, the PVA  band and the PVA chorus all went.  They took 4 tour buses to Six Flags New Jersey.

It sounded as if they had a wonderful day.  Hubby said he even had a good time.

MAC had a very good day and the chorus came home with a superior score.  They were apparently the only group to get that score.  After performing, the groups were let loose on the Six Flags park.  Hubby said that MAC didn't even ask for a souvenir.  They had dinner at Johnny Rockets and didn't really even sleep on the bus on the way back because they were talking with friends.

I was able to spend some time with a friend while they were away.  She and I haven't spent a lot of time together but it is aways nice.  She has three children all of whom have difficulties.  She always apologizes for "behavior" and I always say "I've been there".

Today was Girl Scout Camping.  Just me.  MAC stayed home and slept in.  I went for just the day and another mother came and spent the night with her daughter.  It was a beautiful day and we had fun walking around.  I used a band saw for the first time today.  I don't think I have ever collected or cut so much wood in my life!  I was so excited to be able to start a all wood fire on the first try, twice, today. 

All in all it was a great end to the week.  She had a good time, got a superior score, and could even get a medal if she wished.  She got to ride lots of roller coasters, eat a yummy burger (her way), and got to sleep for a little over 13 hours today.

Great day

What a wonderful day!  MAC had the state chorus festival today.  It was amazing the size difference in the children.  Some of them looked 17 or 18!  We left the school at 7am this morning.  It was an hour earlier than usual.  MAC and I left home at 6:00 this morning and made it to the school at 6:45.  I was surprised at the number of people who showed up at the school at 7 or even at 7:10 when the bus was leaving.

I realized half way to the school that we had forgotten the pills.  She was going to take them after she ate breakfast and we left them on the counter.  We couldn't turn around so I just kept a really good eye on her for the rest of the day.  She didn't need it.  She knew where to sit, where to stand, how to behave and other than being reminded (just like all the other kids) she was really, REALLY good.

Tomorrow she and Hubby will be going to Six Flags:  Great Adventure with the chorus.  They have to leave the house by 4:15 because the bus will leave the school at 5!  They both went to bed early, MAC at 7:30 and Hubby at 10.  They are not looking forward to 3am!

Week 13

Depending on how you look at it, today is either week 13 or week 12 at the Strengthening Families Program.  Next week is graduation.

We started with a "quilt block" tonight.  Last week when we were at MAC's concert they each did a "quilt block" that represented them.  Each block had each persons name and some description of them.  MAC drew a picture of two folded hands, Hubby drew a picture of two hockey sticks and a beer making bucket.  I drew a picture of music, a book and knitting needles.

After the quilt block it was dinner time.  Poppeys delivered box meals:  3 pieces of chicken, a biscuit, and mashed potatoes and gravy.  Amazingly everyone ate most of their meal.  MAC and I exchanged a biscuit for mashed potatoes.  As always it was delicious.

Tonight was a review of everything that we learned over the last 12 weeks.  The family time was a game of Family Feud:  Parents vs. The Kids.  While we were sitting in the group the parents knew the answers to all the questions.  As soon as we stood in front of the bell our reflexes slowed and for the most part the answers left our heads.  The final score:  Parents 2-Kids 19.

Playing hooky...

Tuesday was our first appointment with our regular talk therapist since she started the IOP.  It was the only available appointment until the end of the month so we took it.  It was at 10am so Hubby and I made the decison to allow MAC to sleep in.  It didn't seem to make much sense to get her up at 6:30, get her on the bus at 7:20, and then pick her up at 9 to get her to the doctors office on time. 

I had been trying to schedule her appointments for later in the day but when she went into IOP we lost our good time.  Our 10 o'clock appointment turned into a 10:20 appointment.  We finished around 11 and the doctor opened a few more times next week.  They were all early too.  Of course she wanted to see us next week.

MAC has a field trip on Friday that requires khaki shorts and a white polo.  Amazingly enough we do not currently have those items.  On the way back to the school we stopped at JC Penny's and picked up the shorts and shirt then she had a burger from 5 Guys.

As we sat in the food court we felt we were playing hooky but then looked around.  MAC said, "There are a lot of teenagers here!"  I did get her back to school before the end of the school day, there were only 2 periods left but she was able to go to PVA Plus.

6 o'clock already

Yesterday afternoon I had a Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee.
I forgot that it was 2pm.
I watched a soccer game in the spritz.
I had a lunch that was only decent and then had it comped due to it being so poor.
I watched Rio in 3D.
I was still awake at 2am!

I couldn't believe when the alarm went off this morning.  6am and I hit snooze.  I was so tired that I didn't wake up again until 6:25.  I tried to wake MAC up at 6:30 and she asked why I hadn't woken her up earlier.  I had to tell her, because I wasn't awake.  When we almost missed the bus because we got up so late I had to explain to her that I wasn't angry and that I would drop her off at school and that I didn't blame her. 

She made it to bed on time tonight.  She has a Dr. appointment in the morning and after debate about whether it is worth the extra gas to send her to school for an hour and then go pick her up and drive her to the appointment and back again.  We decided to let her sleep in and leave from here.  She will need to go to help day to get her homework.  Please God, let her remember to go to help day!

New calendar

Anyone who knows me knows that I keep the family calendar.  Not only do I keep the family calendar, I keep something that is approximately 8 lbs in my to house the family calendar.  Of course this means that my purse is really a huge bag, that ends up holding everything that anyone else wants to keep but doesn't want to hold.

That is about to change.  Hubby and I joined the 21st century with our "smart phones" about a year ago but I was the only one who used the calendar to send me reminders about events.  I still kept "the book".  That all changed today when I found Cozi. 

Cozi is a web based program that is down loadable to both the droid and the iPhone.  It will keep not only the calendar, but any list that we need (grocery, USANA, pen refills or to do lists) as well as a journal if we want to keep track of special days and things that have happened to us.  I'm not planning on throwing away the planner but it will probably not be going so many places with me.  I know my back and shoulders thank the cozi creator!