Scince Fair

"How many times have I asked you about what you were doing? How many times did I ask if you were getting things typed? What did you do with all the computer lab time you had?"

These were just a few questions that I asked (some of the rather loudly) this evening. I ask her every day what her homework is. Today she said that the social studies homework was to finish her science fair project since it was due on Wednesday. I asked her if she had done any more typing for her poster, she said no, that what she had done was all that she needed to do.

I said that, no, it wasn't what needed to be done, and that she was going to have to work on it tonight. When we got home we had a quick bite to eat and then started on the typing for the project. We just finished the typing. It is NOT going to be pleasant to wake her up tomorrow!

I know that science fair projects are a fact of life for the next several years but I really need her to start using that calendar the school gives her, and to do the little bits that work up to the final project! Too many tears tonight. (Her and I.)

Wii Play

Apparently Comcast had some issues with internet connectivity last night so I couldn't post when I wanted to, sorry!
Sunday was family time. MAC, Hubby and I went to church where MAC picked an Angel off the giving tree. She and I then ran to Target to get the gift for the little girl that she had chosen. When we got home she went up to her room and with some objections she did some cleaning. You can now see her floor!

Friday we had picked up some pre used Wii games at Gamestop. We finally had some time and decided to try them out after cleaning. Boy was it fun! All three of us chose a Sonic character and played "party games". Hubby won overall but it was fun to see how we were all good at different games. Wii are all looking forward to doing it again soon.

Looking toward tomorrow

So much time has passed since we first found out that MAC has "issues" that sometimes it seems as if all my life has been is thinking about Doctor's appointments, medications and meetings with teachers, guidance counselors, principals, and nurses.

Today I took a day just for myself. Over the past few months I have taken some time for myself but I pretty much took the whole day today. My general practitioner has not been happy with my blood pressure and my endocrinologist has not been happy with my blood work and they have both suggested that I try to lessen the stress in my life. I did just that today: this morning I went to the mall when it opened. I got there early enough not to have to fight over a parking spot, and I took a nap in the middle of the afternoon just because I felt tired. At 2 I went and helped to clean up the room where Member Care and Fellowship stores all their items. I met a friend at 6 and we had a quick bite to eat before we went to see Love and Other Drugs.

I know tomorrow there will be all sorts of things that I need to do (laundry, grocery shopping, and dishes just being the tip of the ice berg) but today I can whole heartedly say: I feel rested and am looking toward tomorrow.

The Day After

It is the day after American Thanksgiving and we are still recovering. MAC and Hubby got to stay home and play and I went in to work. Amazingly there were about 10 people there working the day like me. I was so jealous of MAC and Hubby getting to stay home, no Black Friday deals for me.

I did leave some jobs that they needed to do: Science Fair project, cleaning her room, cleaning the living room, and maybe even doing some laundry. Amazingly when I got home they both said that they had done all that.

I don't know about them but I am still really stuffed from yesterday. Hubby made me breakfast in bed this morning. It was great to just lay in bed and know that I didn't have to worry about what MAC was doing today. Lunch today was very small, just a few shrimp and 6 onion rings. Dinner was a few pieces of sushi and some salmon wrapped asparagus. I even went to the gym, but am still feeling “full”.

MAC did several of the items on her to do list today. She has figured out that the grape juice has begun to turn and has clothes in her dresser. The living room still looks as if a cyclone hit it but she is happy to have the next few days. She will spend some time with her grandparents but is not looking forward to Monday, and the beginning of school.

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends! This morning was filled with grocery shopping, working out at the gym and baking. This afternoon was filled with turkey wings, green bean casserole, 7 layer salad, oyster stuffing and chocolate pecan pie.
MAC had a really fun day of cinnamon rolls, Yu-Gi-Oh, and napping. Of course when we went to dinner at 3:30pm she was "bored" and was ready to go home after the chips and guacamole. She did play with her cousin a little and she had fun eating the big turkey leg and the chocolate pecan pie but had the "Thanksgiving Day Hangover" very soon after the pie.

She is currently downstairs sleeping on the couch.  Hubby and I are watching Punkin Chunkin' on Discovery, at least until we fall asleep!

Another Day off

Today was yet another day off school for MAC. Her Grandparents are in town for Thanksgiving tomorrow and they invited her out for lunch and to see a movie today.

She was very excited about it yesterday when I spoke to her about it. She was almost bouncing off walls when I called to remind her to shower and take pill this morning. When I got home from the gym this afternoon she was sitting calmly in the computer chair. When I asked her how the movie was she said, "Awesome" and then turned back.

She has been off for 3 days now and instead of working on her science fair project, cleaning her room, or going out and playing she has been eating her cookie exchange cookies and watching Yu-Gi-Oh on the computer. I can't blame her, if I had a week off I'd love nothing better than to sit back and read a few books and knit something!

A Glee Wedding

Tuesday means Glee night. I was able to work a little late, have dinner, run to Mom and Dad's and be home in time for Glee with MAC.

She was so excited to see Sue in a wedding track suit. It was interesting for me to "meet" Sue's mother, played by Carol Burnett. At the end of the show Sue told her mother that every time she had a conversation with her she left the conversation feeling worse about herself than when the conversation had started.

I can only hope that MAC doesn't feel like that in the future. MAC's current favorite phrase is, "Don't judge me!" She says it jokingly but it is a hard truth that we all need to learn. I try not to be judgemental even when she does some things that just leave me saying "Hum".

Sue was marrying herself tonight, I know that one day MAC will find someone that makes her happy and will love her for being her.

Happy People

Another good day for MAC and I. We spent a second day together. Getting up for church was a bit difficult this morning but apparently she had a really good time in Sunday School. The 2 of us stayed through the second service to watch the cutest little girl in the nursery.

After the service we ran to the Korean Market to get some items for MAC to bring to the cookie exchange this afternoon. She and I then had a nice time at the cookie exchange. She is very excited to have a whole lot of cookies that are hers!

At the end of the exchange I was helping to clean up when I had a nice conversation with one of the other participants. He said that MAC had surprised him by giving him a little hug this morning. She had smiled at him and he had heard her laughing too.

I was thrilled that although the day started a little on the rough side it ended with lots of cookies and two very happy people.

Cookies anyone?

Tomorrow is the cookie exchange at church. MAC and I had a very full day of cookies. We got up to go shopping for the ingredients for the shortbread cookies. MOMs in Bowie had all the specialized items we needed, it was expensive but the cookies turned out great!

We had to make 13 dozen cookies. We started baking at around 11:30 and took a quick break around 12:30 for lunch. MAC was so excited about baking that she told me to just sit back and she would finish the first batch. She did a wonderful job rolling out the dough, cookie cutting, and then putting them on the baking sheet. I helped by making the second round of batter and around 3:30pm we had to leave for Girl Scout cookie sales.

The booth sale in Bowie went ok, we didn't sell a whole lot, but by the end of 2 hours we had 8 boxes left. The second shift didn't have to sell.

MAC and I both will be going to the cookie exchange tomorrow, she is looking forward to having 144 cookies that are all her own!

What do you do?

I got tickets to go see Transiberian Orchestra tonight. Hubby and I went (yes, it was kind of like date night without the expensive dinner at a 4 star restaurant before hand) and had a really great time. The laser show was awesome and I had a great time watching the guys run all over the stage. We left MAC by herself at the house. She had strict instructions to do her homework, and go to bed on time.

I felt a little bad about leaving her, but after hearing about the laser show I knew that it probably would not be a good concert for her. I must say that our metro ride home made me even happier that we had left her.

We were able to get on the orange line at L'Enfant Plaza. The trains were short so we had to move to get on to the train. We ended up in the last car. As we were getting on several teenage girls were getting off and we heard them yelling at someone on the train.

When we got on I was able to sit down, hubby stood. We found that the person they were yelling at was walking around the car. He was talking to everyone and was not watching his mouth, he dropped the "N" word about himself several times, and cursed at people. There was a 6 year old who had gotten on at the same stop as us and his mother asked the person to watch his mouth. He said that he had every right to talk to anyone that he wanted and however he wanted since I was a free country. After saying this he walked right up to the kid and started talking to him.

About 5 stops out from New Carrolton he was finally taken from the train. It required 2 officers and some force. After he was taken off, Hubby and I talked about it. He said that he would have intervened if the guy had put his hands on either the child or his mother but that he was leery of getting involved on an enclosed train. I understood completely, in this day and age of litigation you never know when being a "good Samaritan" will put you in line for being sued.

Explanation

I had my "interview" with our new interim pastor on Wednesday after work. He asked lots of questions about my view of the church and where I hoped the church would be headed.


At the end of the interview I tried to explain a little about our family. The depression, the seizures, the Asperger’s, the hospitalizations, and the anger. It was good to see how far we have come over the last 18 months, but it was also disappointing to see how we have gotten stuck in a few places.

Glee Tuesday

I am happy to say that we had another Glee Tuesday.  MAC did her homework and everything was in good order when we left for the Girl Scout Meeting.  She was dressed in my black dress because she was supposed to "model" something "vintage".  The black dress ended up looking more "classic" but with a silk scarf it looked great and I explained that every woman should have a "little black dress".

The meeting started off a little rocky but she gathered herself together and by the end was having fun with the Junior girls. 

We came home a little late and Glee was already on but we did sit together and finish the show.  I really look forward to Tuesday's and having a solid hour of uninterupted time with her.  She really seems to look forward to it to.  I hope we can make it through the season before she gets bored with me and Glee.

Who will Love me?

A new song has come onto the radio station I usually listen to. The first phrase of the chorus goes: Who will love me for me, not for what I have done or what I will become. This phrase has gone through my head for the last few days. The song gave me chills the first time I heard it. The first verse talks about a little boy in foster care, the second verse talks about a woman abandoned by her husband, and the third verse is about a killer waiting to be put to death.

MAC and I talk every once in a while about how Hubby and I will love her no matter what she does. How there are times when we will be angry with her and that yes sometimes yelling will happen but when all is said and done we love her, just the way she is. I hope that when she feels hopeless she remembers this.

Link to the song:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Igemp1fZvk&feature=player_embedded

LOVE ME Lyrics

He cries in the corner where nobody sees
He’s the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night, “Dear God won’t you please
Could you send someone here who will love me?”

Who will love me for me
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means

Her office is shrinking a little each day
She’s the woman whose husband has run away
She’ll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner
Then he would’ve stayed
And she says…

Who will love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love, what love really means

He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone
He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
“Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home”

Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said
“I know you’ve murdered and I know you’ve lied
I have watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you’ll listen, I’ll tell you that I...”

I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love
The love that you never knew

Mother Daughter Days

Today and tomorrow MAC and I will be spending a lot of time together. As always there was church this morning. She sat through service and then went and helped with Sunday School. She was the official taste tester of the David and Goliath "stones" that they made. (It was homemade donut holes and after having one from each batch, of which there were about 12, she didn't feel so good!) After helping to clean up the room I was able to take her home for a few hours of watching Hulu.

She and I then ran to Bowie Town Center where we found a Birthday gift for my father, a new manga for MAC and a new devotional for me. We went to AC Moore so she could get another sketch book and to 5 below to see if we could find a special Yu-Gi-Oh card set. We were on our way home when we got a call from her friend TB's mom. He had about an hour and a half before he had to go and was wondering if MAC could have a short play date. We went to Annapolis and she had a 50 minutes to play with her friend.

We had a very nice sit down dinner of ribs bar-b-qued by Hubby. She loved every bite and went to bed a very happy camper.

Tomorrow she has a Dr's appointment in the middle of the morning. She will go to school, I will pick her up, take her to the appointment and then we'll spend a little time having lunch together before I take her back to school.

It was a very nice afternoon together. We didn't have any fights, got what we needed, and had fun at the same time. This is the way to start the Holiday season!

Milestones

Today was a field trip to the waterfowl festival on the Eastern Shore. I was a little surprised when I read "waterfowl festival" on the permission slip but it was a wonderful experience. It wasn't just about hunting ducks (although M R Ducks ran through my head a few times) but was an art wonderland.

MAC was excited about going on the field trip, all the way up to the point that we got off the bus in Easton. I had to run to the bathroom and the group headed to the elementary school with out me. When I left they were heading to the shuttle bus, when I came out they were gone so I assumed they had got on the shuttle. I got on the next shuttle and tried calling the chaperone with the group. There was no answer.

The shuttle took A LOT longer than anticipated, and then I found out the group had walked to the venue! By the time I got to the school about half an hour later something had happened. No one is sure what exactly, I kind of think that it was a combination of a 1/2 mile walk and then everyone else wanting to buy food (and I had all the money), but she had sat down at a table and put her head down and refused to move. When I got there she and I were able to go through the food line and then followed the rest of our group to see the live birds of prey demonstration.

I was glad that she did not cause a scene today and that I was there to be able to stay with her while she gathered herself together. I think the 2 chocolate brownies and sprite helped. She slept on the bus home and was almost a cheerful person when her friend TB teased her about sleeping.

Today was a milestone for her and I would like to thank everyone for helping me reach my milestone of 100 blog posts!

The M R Ducks story:

The story goes that two duck hunters in a duck blind on Maryland's Eastern Shore were looking skyward when this friendly exchange occurred...


M.R. Ducks
M. R. Not
O. S. A. R.
C. M. Wangs
L. I. B.
M. R. Ducks

Translation:

Them are ducks.
Them are not.
Oh, yes, they are.
See them wings?
Well, I'll be.
Them are ducks.

Safety First

Tuesday I missed the bus drop off at the library. The bus got to the library about the time I left the office. MAC said that she waited for me for 10 minutes and then wanted to go home so she walked it. I sat at the library until 5:40 when Hubby called to say that she had just walked through the door. I was a little frightened of her walking by herself in the dark.

Today was the second afterschool day of the week. It was also a federal holiday. The bus drops off at the library because it is someplace that the kids can go into where it is warm and wait, and where there is help available if it is needed. Unfortunately, today the library was closed but the schools were open.

I was there at 5:15 today. The bus pulled up at 5:40. Most of the kids walked right away to waiting cars and MAC got in the car and asked for a Glee CD. I was pulling out when I saw two kids still standing at the corner. I pulled up and asked them if they needed to borrow a cell phone to call a parent. They both said no. I told them I would wait with them until someone came to pick them up. I told her that I hope if ever she was in the same situation someone would wait with her, and I was even more glad that I stayed when three teenagers walked up and sat at the benches.

I spoke with MAC about what to do if she got to the library and it was closed and no one was there to pick her up. She said, "Yes mom" she was so embarrassed that I had stayed to make sure the other kids were picked up.

Dinner Time

We have been trying something new and revolutionary the past few days: eating dinner at the table, together! For a long time we would come home from work, pop a meal into the microwave and sit down in front of the TV for some relaxation.

We cleaned the downstairs of our house because we had the cable triple play installed last weekend. We are now able to see the dining room table as well as the kitchen table and have decided to make the most of it. Monday night and last night we ate in the dining room, tonight we all ate in the kitchen.

Monday night we talked about homework. Last night the conversation was "we've got to go, the meeting starts in 20 minutes!" Tonight the conversation was about how our day went and what we are doing as a family over the next few weeks. I am excited that we are spending time together. I am happy that even though she wants to leave the table she is willing to stay long enough for everyone to finish eating and has even begun to clean her plate and cup up afterward.

Yes the family dinner table is going to be back in our family!

You can't go back...

Tonight we were supposed to have a girl scout meeting. We had not heard that we could not use the school, even though they were having family night at the school. The school never uses the art room for these special nights. The other co-leader and I discussed several times weather we should keep our meeting at the school, move it to another venue, or just cancel until December.  Because we are still in the middle of cookie sales we decided to have our meeting tonight as usual.

MAC and I got to the school about 15 minutes earlier than we normally would have and we walked in and met the principal. It was the same principal that gave MAC her "diploma" 2 years ago. She told us that she had cancelled our meeting since the school was in use.

Not that MAC would ever want to go back, but walking in to the school and talking to the principal made ME glad that she will never have to go back there. I felt MACs stress level raise 50 points as soon as she saw the principal. I guess I'm just as bad, because I felt my hackles rise too.

We did finally find our troop at the leader’s house. We had our full hour and a half meeting, the girls finished 2 interest projects and got ready for the meeting next week when they will be helping to run a junior meeting.  Moving forward is not always easy but I would not want to go back.

A little laughter

So last week I was rattling off to my mother about why I was so tired and the usual came up: I have to keep telling MAC the same thing over and over again. Yes the first 2 (sometimes even 3) times I try to be polite and nice but by the 3rd, 4th, 5th time I am no longer in the mood to be nice. MAC likes to call me the "Mean Nasty Mommy" at that point. She tends to point out that I am not asking in a nice voice (like I tell her she should) and that I am not treating her the way that I want to be treated.

Mom said to me that I should remember that everything is better with a little laughter. I decided to try it and the next time I asked her to do something and she didn't listen I made a joke about it to her. She laughed and then actually listened to me.

Today we had another situation along those same lines. She needed to take her pills, do homework and read before she went to bed. When I told her this she ignored me. When I made a joke about it and what could happen she laughed and repeated back to me what she needed to do.

I guess Mom was right, a little laughter does go a long way.

Helping out

Once every three months I get to watch over the kids in the church nursery. Once every six months I get to teach "Kids Club". During these times I usually have MAC come and help me. She really likes to be around the younger children. This month we got to teach about the boy who fed the 5,000 with his lunch of 2 fishes and 5 loaves.

MAC actually went to Sunday School on her own today. I didn't have to remind her and she came out smiling and talking with two of the other girls. Next week she will be helping with Sunday School and making donuts to remind the kids about David and Goliath.

Today’s kids club went really well. I forget sometimes how good she is with the younger children. The kids loved her reading the story to them and she got them to answer questions about the story. They played hang man since the service went a little long, and they all loved looking at MACs drawing journal.

I was duly impressed when the boys started calling her "the weird girl" and she didn't get angry or get hurt feelings. She enjoyed showing the kids her drawings and they asked her to show them how she started them which she did. In two weeks we will be with the babies in the nursery.

Dinner and pencils

Today was another day off of school. It is one of those days where there were so many things she should have done and so many things that have gone undone. When I asked her what she had done today she told me that she had drawn in her journal, watched hulu, and drawn in her journal some more.

When I got home with all the girl scout cookies in the trunk of my car I asked the Fam if they knew what they wanted to do for dinner. We decided to go to Smokey Bones since MAC has really been craving ribs. She got a full rack of St. Louis ribs. "It was the best meal ever!"

We then took a quick run to Staples and Target. A few new .9 mechanical pencils and a new mini-pokemon later here we are back at home.

YEAH it's the weekend! Don't forget to turn your clocks back and hour when you go to bed tomorrow, change the batteries in your smoke detectors, and change the air filter in your furnace.

Singing Anyone?

Tonight was PoP Music and Senior choir night at church. PoP music started at 7:15 and around 8:05 I went to senior choir. When I arrived at church this evening the director of the senior choir pulled in next to me. She and I walked into the building together. She asked if MAC was still singing. When I said yes she asked if I thought that MAC might want to sing in the children's/senior choir pageant in December. I told her that I would be happy to talk to her but could not answer for her.

I love being able to get away for a little bit every week and play music. I get a little bit of time at work on Thursday's during lunch where I get to play lots of "oldies" music and then in the evenings I go play Christian music at church. Sometimes Hubby will come and practice at church, and a few times MAC came, but they don't come on a regular basis. I have asked MAC several times to come sing with PoP music but she says no every time.

When I got home this evening I did ask MAC if she would like to sing in the pageant. Surprisingly she did say yes!

Another meeting

This morning was another meeting with the school. The wonderful thing about Bates is that it is a "school of choice" for MAC. She had to audition to get in. She had to write an essay. She has one Saturday a month that she has to be at school. She has to take Italian. The bad thing is that since it is a school of choice she has to work to stay there.

She had an issue on the Saturday before we went to St. Louis. Today's meeting put her on "probationary status". She has several items which must get done to bring her back to "good standing" and we will have another meeting at the end of the quarter. If she has any more issues which bring her to the attention of the principal, she will be sent back to Crofton Middle.

She was in the meeting and has said that she understands the consequences of her behavior. She says that she knows she has different ways to handle different situations and that there are a lot of people willing to help her. She said that she plans to continue going to the Girls Group and will talk with the talk therapist. I truly hope that this is another one of those times when something bad will turn into something good.

Another day off

Another day off of school. Both Hubby and I are looking forward to tomorrow when we will no longer get those "wonderful" robocalls trying to tell us how to vote. MAC was really happy to be home and able to sleep in this morning. I thought being home meant that she would actually have to do some school work. Silly Mommy! Even though we have taken the cable away from the downstairs TV she has found that she can watch her favorite shows on the computer.

She did have a dental appointment today and Hubby took her. I tried to schedule it late in the afternoon so Hubby could get some sleep, it was a 2:30pm appointment. When I called at 2pm to make sure they were awake, I was surprised that they weren't!

Friday will be another day off, just for the middle school students. The middle school teachers have a special conference, I kind of hope that they will be discussing how to deal with bullying and how to be inclusive to all students. (Hey I can dream can't I?) MAC has been told that if she cleans her room she can invite a friend over on Friday, so far I haven't seen much movement of the items off her floor!

This morning

This morning Hubby woke up MAC and she jumped out of bed, taken a shower, got dressed, and had taken her pills in under 30 minutes. I told them both that I didn't understand why when I wake her up she always takes her time and refuses to wear any of the clothes I ask her to. 

I was told that it was because Hubby went to her room, and sat on her bed to wake her up, not yelling from another room. I told MAC that I would be happy to go in and sit on her bed to wake her up but she told me in no uncertain terms that I was not allowed in her room. I am trying to "honor her request" but she does need to get up so that she can get to the bus.

I know that there are going to be "those days". One day we'll look back at all of this and laugh. I can only wish that she recieves the mothers curse, "To have a child just like her!"