Advice

Alright, I know that I'm not always the sharpest pencil on the desk but I really wish that I could stop getting "advice" from well meaning family. The plane ride home today was not quite as much fun as the plane ride to St. Louis.

The young ladies and I had talked about sitting together and R and I had planned to let them if the plane wasn't too crowded. We had every expectation that it wouldn't be that crowded because when we did our boarding passes yesterday we got higher numbers even though we didn't get to a computer until about 19 hours before the flight, and on Thursday R had been able to get on line exactly 24 hours before the flight. We were wrong.

We allowed the girls to sit in two seats next to each other and R was going to sit at the end of the 3 seats. Then R said that MAC had told her to that she would take care of Z and moved to sit next to me in the last row. Almost as soon as she got up an older gentleman sat down in the chair.

R sat next to me and gave me lots of advice on how to change MACs behavior and new schools to look into. Over the course of the weekend my mother had given me lots of advice on what to make sure MAC knew and how to respond to. 

Over the course of the two hour flight I kept hearing the two girls squealing and saw the chair moving back and forth while they rocked themselves with laughter. While I appreciate them having fun, I also was thinking that the man probably didn't want to get spit at as they blew at each other. I tried to ask R to talk to them since she was closer but she kept saying that no one was complaining so to just leave them alone. I watched the man's head shake several times throughout the trip...R was talking with our seat mate about USANA, in Spanish and I know she didn't see it.

Yes, I'm sensitive to what my child is doing. Yes I'll listen politely to your advice. Yes I will try to stop something before it happens because I don't want the phone calls from the school/police/parent/put your own authority figure here. I love my child and even thought I know she needs to make mistakes to learn I am trying to keep the mistakes which cost me money or lots of time from happening.

Proud

Any of you who have ever heard my cell phone ring know that I have MACs chorus as my ring tone. They are singing the theme from The Biggest Loser, Proud. Saturday I was so PROUD of my daughter. As I said yesterday we have been talking a lot about what type of behavior was expected during the visitation and at the memorial service, we went over all of it again at 11:00am CST before I headed to the home for a quick practice.

MAC was excited to wear her new Selena Gomez clothes and listened with her usual "You are so boring" look on her face. I gave her some of the worst case scenarios of people wanting to hug her and touching her on her head/face without giving any warning and what she could say when people asked questions. She brought her IPod and her drawing journal, and at the last minute decided to bring Pikachu. (I knew there was a reason I wanted her to bring a large purse!)

Visitation lasted for a little over an hour, because people came a little early, and she looked at people and spoke when they asked her questions. She even smiled a few times. She and my niece Z behaved extremely well. They were the only kids at there and there was no running or hitting or "I'm bored". MAC looked at the old pictures of Grandma and was shocked that she was ever young enough to have been in dance class like her and said that she was really pretty when she was a WACC.

Pikachu came out for the graveside service. She sniffled a little and hugged him really close.

We went to my Dad's cousin's house for dinner and she answered questions about her school and what PVA meant. When we left at 10pm she had played The Game of Life, drawn a new picture, and colored several with the 3 color pen she found in the backpack. She and Z fell asleep in the car on the way back to the hotel.

I fell asleep almost as soon as the contacts were out which is why this is so late. I am so proud of my daughter and of her behavior. She is looking forward to this evening and hoping we get home with enough time for her to go to her friend’s house for Halloween Festivities.

Ease or effort?

MAC and I have been talking all week how when we fly out to St. Louis it is family time, that she will be meeting with people that haven't seen her in a long while or have never met her and that she will need to "be more adult" and talk with people etc... She usually gives me one of her long suffering looks and says, "I know, I can't wait to meet people".

She got out of school 2 hours early today and I was supposed to pick her up from my sisters house so she could finish her packing and then she was going to go with my sister to pick up my niece from school. I got a phone call at 2 saying that R could just drop MAC off after they picked up my niece, which I said ok but asked several questions: where is your good pencil? where is your phone charger? (I forgot to ask if she had her phone with her so we now have the charger and no phone.) are you planning on taking your DSi with you? where is your wallet? She got tired of my asking questions and actually hung up on me! When she got home she needed to change because although I like her uniform she hates it. She had thought that that was all she needed to do and wanted to go help my sister pack. I started on the questions again: where is your wallet? why are you wearing that? what real book are you planning on taking? We didn't leave our house for another half hour.

We got to the airport at 5:15 and made it through the screening process fairly quickly (25 minutes). Our plane didn't leave until 6:30 so as soon as our shoes were back on and our bags were collected MAC wanted food. She and I had Arby's, R wasn't hungry and Z (the niece) got a taco from California Tortilla.

The flight was good, MAC got a window seat and had fun looking out at the twinkling lights below, Z sat on the aisle and had all the flight attendants "ohing and ahing" over her. Upon touchdown I once again spoke with her about the expected behavior when we meet people. When we arrived Mom and Dad were there to meet us and they took us back to the hotel. They got half hugs from MAC. My Aunt and Cousin J were at the hotel and came down the hall for a visit, at which time MAC decided that she didn't really want to meet anybody. I finally finagled her into coming to say hello before she shuffled off to bed. The hope is that tomorrow at breakfast will be better.

Yes, yes I know you're going to say that it was 8:30pm St. Louis time and she has been up since 6am EST this morning, or that the medication which I didn't force her to take until 9:15pm CST hadn't kicked in yet, but really: saying hello nicely doesn't take a lot of effort does it? I guess when you're tired (she fell asleep in about 5 minutes once her head hit the pillow) and not a people person it does take effort.

Packing

Tonight was busy and exciting and I think we may be ready for our trip tomorrow.


MAC had afterschool activities that brought her home on the activity bus and then we ran to dinner with my friend SG. Once again she didn't get her teachers to sign her homework sheet so we start the three day count again. We haven't spent time together in several weeks so this was a great couple of hours together. MAC and SGs kids had a fun time. SG also had her niece over tonight so it was two girls and two guys, a different dynamic for MAC. They played well together.

I dropped her at home with a list of items for her to get ready for me to pack:
1) under clothes for 2 days
2) pjs
3) swimsuit
4) 2 shirts
5) pants

I already had her outfit for the memorial and have packed our medications and have been getting my carry on together. I know that she has several items that she wants to take with us and will make sure that these items go in her backpack tomorrow.

I am excited to show MAC St. Louis. I know that we won't be seeing a lot of the city but I hope that we can take a quick trip to the Arch and to see the Mississippi. It would be interesting if we went to dinner at Schnucks (which is where we used to go when I was young and visiting my Grandparents). I hope that we will also meet with some family while we are out there, since I'm not sure that we will ever get back to St. Louis.

Looking forward

It's Tuesday. I know that it sounds pretty dumb to say that, but I am looking at my calendar and wondering where the week has gone. Yesterday was very busy at work and then I had dinner plans which didn't end until 10ish. I got home and crashed, I sat down on the bed started typing, and about three minutes after I "published" I was sleeping.

Tonight was a Girl Scout leader meeting in Baltimore. We left the house around 5:50 and got back around 9:40. Tomorrow I am planning to have lunch with a friend and then going home to work on the laundry and dishes. Thursday is dinner with my friend SG and PoP Music practice and then on Friday MAC and I will be leaving for St. Louis with my sister and her daughter.

Did you know that you can now buy your Girl Scout Cookies on line? I thought the fact that we had sold 100 boxes of cookies was decent, nope. The meeting that I just came from was talking about selling 1,149,012 boxes. If anyone out there still wants cookies please feel free to contact me!

MAC is looking forward to Friday. Her current incentive to get her sheet signed and to bring her homework home is the next book in the Manga series she is reading. Today she earned #8 by getting her sheet signed 2 days in a row. If she can do this for three days straight she’ll get the next book. I know if she puts her mind to it that I will be in the bookstore on Friday before the flight!

Pimp or Prize?

I know that I can't be the only parent out there who has begun to feel as if the school, the Girl Scouts, and the Boy Scouts(or any other group related to our children) has decided that we are a bunch of money bags. The school had sent home Otis Spunkmeyer cookie dough order forms about the third week of the school year, the Girl Scouts have just finished cookie pre-sales, and my friend's son has been selling popcorn for his cub scout troop.

While I understand that each of these groups is a good place for my money to go, there are still times that I feel coerced into buying. MAC has not sold the PTA/school fundraiser for the past two years but we have consistently been one of the top sellers of Girl Scout Cookies in her troop. The fact that the school has a "carnival party" for those who sell a certain number of items, that girl scouts says that you can earn different levels of prizes, and that the Boy Scouts only allows certain prizes if you have earned certain "chips" makes it feel a little like "pimping our kids".

Tonight I picked up the cookies from our cookie Mom and I'll get up early tomorrow morning to sort through them and pack them to hand out tomorrow. It reminds me of when I was in the Arundel High School Band and Mom used to get up early with me on Monday mornings to make sub sandwiches, our fundraiser.

What do you Use your allowance for?

Today was the last day of the Maryland Renaissance Festival. It made me sad to walk onto the Faire ground and to say goodbye to old and new friends.

One of MACs favorite things to do is to eat. When she gets to go to the Faire and eat it is even happier. She was sad today because she knew that it was the end of all the goodies I tend to bring home to her.

Last week we had to fix my car, to the tune of $780, so this was a very lean last day at Faire. As I was leaving this morning she asked me to get her a spinach pie and some cheese bread. I told her that I was happy to get her a pie but that if she wanted the cheese bread she would have to pay for it herself. I thought I was being smart but she ran upstairs and grabbed her wallet.

She has both spinach pie and cheese bread for lunch tomorrow. Each time I spoke with her father she would yell at the phone, "Did you get my bread?" I was very happy to be able to tell her that she got double cheese bread. I was able to get Hubby a last piece of Spicy Beef Jerky and to have my first steak on a steak. 

It was sad that it was the last day of Faire but I know that it will only make us look forward to next year all the more!

Laughter

Today we had a lot of laughter at dinner. The three of us went to dinner at The Green Turtle because we needed to go to K-mart and return the dress that I had found for her to wear at Grandma's memorial service.

She put the dress on and not only did I realize that she needed a pair of black stretch pants or jeans, but that the dress I got was definitely NOT her size. I had gotten a size larger in the matching sweater, and she LOVED the outfit. It is a grey dress with a little ruffle of flowery material at the bottom. They were designed by Selena Gomez apprently and the fact that it came with an "awesome" necklace helped I'm sure.  She had a huge smile on her face as she came to show me how it looked on her. I said I thought we needed to get the next size up just so that we could wash the dress and she said, "Oh good idea."

I wanted to make sure that we got the right size and there was only one dress left that I had seen in that size. We headed out as soon as we could change back to regular clothes.

We went for dinner first and had a really nice time. She cracked a few jokes and Hubby and I would look each other and say, "That is YOUR child, with YOUR sense of humor!" We laughed with each other as we noticed all the bar-b-que sauce on each other’s faces, and when she tried to lick a napkin to get the sauce off her hands and it stuck to her tongue.

I laughed when she ran for the purses. I laughed when Hubby gave a huge sigh because she ran for the purses. And we all laughed when we walked past the bathrobes and she had to snuggle into one because it was so soft.

It was a great way to end the week!

Dinner and a Book

Tonight MAC and I ate dinner together. That is to say, we sat at the same table, ate almost the same thing, and mumbled a word or two to each other between pages of our books. We do usually eat sitting at the table once every other week when we go to my friend SGs for dinner but tonight was a little different.

I picked up MAC at the library and we headed home. She did not have her homework done, nor did she have a signed homework sheet. I took away the TV for tonight because of the sheet and she had to start on her homework as soon as we got home.

The last part of her homework is the same homework we have had in language arts since she was in kindergarten: read. This year she is supposed to read 20 minutes each night. I had her reading while we heated dinner. It was supposed to be macaroni and cheese but when I went to put the cheese sauce on I found that it had been opened and left in the pantry. She ended up with some spicy Szechwan sauce instead and I found chili over pasta is pretty good.

We ate sitting at the same table but because she was reading I decided to read too. It was very nice sitting with her even if we didn't talk. Yep, dinner and a book, and the best dinner I've had in a month!

I Love You

I Love you. Three words that most parents hear at least once a day from their child. Hubby and I don't usually hear it without some prompting and her Grandparents hear it even less than we do.

For the first time in a long while I heard the words while we were in the car this evening. She just said it. No prompting from me, I wasn't purchasing her anything, and it came out of thin air! We had talked about Glee and the big premier next week and then she just said it. "I Love you Mom".

This morning was the last part of the school incident from two weeks ago. She does seem to have figured out that she never wants anything like this to happen again. The intake officer required that MAC apologize to the other student, to her father, and to me. She did so with tears in her eyes which almost had me crying too.

One day when she has finished school, remembers to take her medication on her own, and is leading a productive life I know that we will look back on these days and say, "See it seemed so hard then but it was all worth it". I know that at some time we will hear I Love you at the end of the phone conversation without prompting and that she will understand that homework is not a torture device that teachers dreamed up just for her.

Bribery?

Ok, so I have resorted to bribery. Yesterday was a good day for MAC at school, this means she made it through the whole day and I didn't receive a call. She came home and I forced her to do homework and we had a nice dinner that Hubby made that I didn't have to clean up. Today was another good day, and she made some money to boot.

She has a form that her teachers are supposed to sign at the end of each class and until today I had never seen more than 2 teacher’s signatures. She would come home and say things like, "Mr. XX wouldn't sign it" or "Mrs. XX was too busy and said to come back after lunch".

I have gotten tired of seeing these blank pages come home and I told her that I would pay her a dollar for every signature she brought me today. When she got out of the car I reminded her that she had 3 pages that needed to be signed. It could have cost me $16 dollars this afternoon if she had brought everything home signed. I promised her that I would give her cash when she gave me her form.

She was so excited when she brought me one form. It had 6 signatures. I asked her about the other ones. She said that she only thought she needed one. Of course she has now had two days and has not gotten the school form signed by any of her teachers. The school form is what she needs to give to her teachers so that they know she has 10 extra days to do any work that was missed during her "absence" from school.

She did get her $6 dollars.

Being Mommy

We went to the school today for MACs re-instatement interview. She was able to fully articulate why she had been suspended and what she could have done instead. We were able to meet with the Principal, Vice-Principal and the Alternative 1 teacher. She says that she never wants to have the same thing happen again. I hope she will remember this experience the next time something makes her "fighting mad".

I had a "manifestation meeting" with the Guidance Counselor and have begun to feel slightly prepared for our meeting with an intake officer on Wednesday. I am planning on taking her for the intake interview and then hope to take her to school. The Counselor and I also spoke about the Parent/Teacher conference and the additions which we added to the 504 plan.

It is surprising to me that I have been able to keep up with everything! This coming up week is the last weekend of the Faire and MAC has a PVA Saturday. Tonight was a church meeting night and tomorrow I have plans to go out with friends for a quick meal where we don't have kids and can take a few minutes to ourselves. I am watching the weather report and seeing the next two days with big rain clouds makes me want to curl up in the warm fuzzy PJs again.

MAC left me this morning, at the school, angry because I had dared to question her clothes and if she had eaten breakfast. Tonight she tells me that she loves me. Everyonce in a while I love being Mommy!

To be determined...

Tomorrow is our meeting with the school. I am not really looking forward to my morning at the school but know that I have to as MAC's mother. The first meeting is with the principal and vice principal to discuss why she was suspended. The second meeting is with the guidance counselor and we are supposed to talk about the 504 plan.
She went with me to church this evening to help out at the Fall Festival. It was really fun. There was cookie decorating, music, and pumpkin decorating as well as apple bobbing and dinner. I made lots of macaroni and cheese for the festival and took Hubby's guitar to play.

She is ready to go back to school. I sure hope that they are ready for her...

A Great Weeks End

MAC went to her friend's house today. They had so much fun that it was almost 8 hours after she was dropped her off before she was ready to be picked up. 

I was glad that the two of them had such a great time together. And the best part of it all is that she also got an ID today so everything we needed to get done over these 10 days has happened! Yeah!

Tomorrow is another busy day: her friend T is going to Faire with her, we will go set up for our church's Fall Festival, and then we'll go have dinner with her Grandparents, aunt, and cousin.

All in all this was a very good week for her and today was a great weeks end. ***Whew***

Staying home

There is something nice about being able to stay home. It is only 6pm and here I sit at my computer, in my warm fuzzy PJs and big fuzzy Eeyore slippers and all I can think about is, AHHHH....

Tomorrow is another one of those days that the school children have off where parents scratch their heads and ask, "why?" It is a "teacher work day". It happens every year, the Federal employees have off on Columbus Day Monday (even though the kids are still in school) but on Friday the schools are closed (and parents have to go in to work). When MAC was still needing day care these days would frustrate me to no end! I couldn't trade my Monday for Friday so I would have to get all my work done in 3 days.

These days MAC is old enough to stay by herself, to a point. I would usually call about 5 times during the day and would come home to find all the snack bags of chips were empty and on my living room floor. Her father is also home now, but he is working night shift so although he is at home, he is not really "watching" her (yes honey I know sleeping is a necessity).

Tomorrow we got lucky! Her friend MM has asked her over to play. She hasn't seen MM in almost 14 days and is hugely excited. MM has lots of Pokemon items and is very excited to be able to show MAC some new things that she has. Hubby is excited that he will be able to get some sleep, MAC is excited to be seeing her friend, and I am excited to be able to go to work and not get phone calls asking me where her DSi is or where her pencil ended up.

**Sigh** If only there were more times when I could sit in fuzzy slippers and read!

Do you do what you say you will?

This has not been the best of weeks. I have been able to keep myself and the rest of the family on schedule only because I have been putting everything into my planner. Today was the first day where our schedule did not have 3 to 4 different items for the day. I say this only to illustrate the fact that I understand what a calendar is, and how they work. I was having a pretty good day, until this afternoon.

For some odd reason I follow directions. When I get told to put things on the calendar I do so. I had made several phone calls over the course of the week and was waiting for call backs. When someone calls me back and says one thing, and then I call to confirm, and tell them that I will be sending out an e-mail, the natural thing to expect is that I WILL DO WHAT I JUST SAID I WOULD. Of course I then get told that my e-mail was wrong, that another person "was waiting to send the e-mail" and that I don't double check my facts.

MAC has been working really hard at ACE and had another "Fantastic" day today. I owe her a breakfast-on-the-go tomorrow. You can bet she's going to hold me to that promise! When I got home today she and a friend from down the road were outside playing. She didn't come back in until after 6.  She was asked to do a picture for the ACE program.  She said she would, it is a wonderful anime drawing that she even gave some color to.

We teach our children to do what they say they will. They get in trouble when they don't. Why is it that as an adult, I now get in trouble at work for doing what I say I will? 

Life lessons in Glee

The second and fourth Tuesday's of the month are always more on the difficult side for me. This year the PVA has changed it's afterschool days to Tuesday and Thursday instead of Wednesday and Thursday. This would usually put us a little behind the eight ball for Girl Scouts which happens the second and fourth Tuesday.

Most of the time I will pick her up at the library at 5:45 run home for a bite of dinner and then we run to Girl Scouts at 6:30. It is usually very tight, and sometimes homework gets put off until the morning so we can watch Glee. This was not the case tonight.

Due to being in the ACE program this week she was out of school at noon. Neither the other leader nor myself had had time to get a meeting together so we cut our meeting down from an hour and a half to just an hour. She had done all of her homework at the ACE program and has completed almost all of the work that was sent from school so there is nothing that we need to do in the morning.

This week’s Glee had some very candid talk about being homosexual. MAC had some questions about the differences in being homosexual and bi-sexual. She has made a friend who has come out as being bi-sexual. When I spoke with MAC about what it means to be bi-sexual she could give me a definition but couldn't understand why it would be a problem. Tonight gave me a life lesson. Having to try to explain why some people don't like homosexuals (or bi-sexual) was difficult.

I am glad that she sees no problem with having a bisexual friend. I hope that this understanding continues forever!

Communication

As an aside I wish Happy Thanksgiving to all my Canadian friends! It's funny to know that they have the same holiday, just a different month.

MAC was given permission from her father tonight to stay up a little late and watch the new iCarly. It was about how iCarly brought a couple together. Carly and her friends helped a couple get together but when they arrived at the wedding somehow the bride decided she would rather marry Spencer. MAC kept laughing and Miranda Richardson even sang a song.

I have begun watching a new CBS show called Mike and Molly. It is about two overweight people who met at an overeaters anonymous meeting. The show shows their trials as they get together. Tonight they “broke up” because of a communication issue. Mike didn’t want to push their relationship too fast and Molly thought it was her. (The end was very Walton like.)

I guess it just goes to show that a little communication can make even the angry parts alright.

Things to remember

So we are down to three weekends left of the RenFest and I am already feeling a little blue. I have been having a really wonderful time working there and although I am away for most of the weekend it has given me time to "recharge" and I feel as if I am coming home a better mommy. Especially after last week I continually get told that I need "to make sure to take care of myself", this is how I am doing it.

MAC had her Middle School Girls Group (MSGG) this afternoon. It was interesting that when she called to wish my mother a happy birthday she told "Grammy" that she had a really good time at the group. When I asked her about the group, "it was fine". Today there were 4 of them in group and they talked about losing someone close.

We had dinner with my sister and her daughter this evening. We are planning a trip to St. Louis at the end of the month for Grandma's memorial service and we talked about plans and who from the family were planning to make the trip. The girls ate and then ran to the living room to play Monopoly Jr. It was a really nice evening that both of us enjoyed.

I hope that as we look back on this time she won't necessarily remember the fact that I was gone for nine weeks of the fall (although she has enjoyed her days at faire), but that we did make time to play and visit with family and friends.

Last day before the holiday

Today was her last day for the week at the ACE program. She seems to be thriving in this environment and has been doing all the work that the school has sent as well as working on her drawings and even doing a little reading. Anne Arundel County doesn't have extra-curricular activities on Friday, so there is no ACE program.

Next week she will attend ACE Monday through Thursday and Friday is a day off for middle school students throughout the county. I look forward to Columbus Day Monday's. Federal employees have the day off although the school system has the kids still going in. When she was in elementary school I used to go in and volunteer. Now that she is in middle school I'm taking the day for myself.

Oh, yes, Monday is also my wedding anniversary. Hubby still has to work and I have a meeting at church so it won't be big.

And more appointments...

Today was another set of appointments. The first was with the Boys and Girls Club "ACE Program". It was an "intake" interview. She had to wear her uniform and could only take her three ring binder, a pencil and her lunch. This made me telling her to leave her hat and her drawing journal in the car not so fun.

The interview went much better when they told her she could bring her journal in and draw in it after she had finished her school work. I brought in a sullen mad girl and left a young lady who was talking nicely with the different teachers. Hubby picked her up at noon and said that he was met by MAC and two teachers who said that she had a good day and that they had worked hard on "letting things go".

I ran to work for a few hours and then headed to the second meeting. It was with the school. I went in thinking that I was going to have a parent/teacher conference, a 504 meeting and a manifestation meeting. When I got to the school I found out that the 504 and manifestation meeting had been cancelled, due to the death of the guidance counselors’ parent. It was disappointing not to get everything done at once, but understandable.

I left the school and followed the school buses out. Not something fun to do. I was told to call back next week and reschedule.

MAC and I talked about what she would need to do when she goes back to school. This includes her getting signatures from each of teachers every day, going to help day for all the core classes, and the teachers trying to find her a more quiet spot to eat lunch in. I have now had a chance to speak one on one with all her teachers and they can put a face to a name.

I was glad to find out from her science teacher that she has a child who has several of the same diagnosis as MAC, so hearing how MAC reacts to things was helpful for her.

...Trying to find his way home

Although I love Glee and the time it allows me to spend with my daughter tonight definitely hit a little close to home. Tonight’s episode debated the existence of God while we followed the collapse and hospitalization of a characters parent. After last Wednesday the songs had me in tears several times.


MAC and I made it through both of her appointments today. The neurologist said that her medication wasn't working as well as it had been, keeping the seizures under control, because her body has changed size. She said unless MAC has another seizure that we could make our next appointment for 6 months. We got to our second appointment about a half hour early but did not get seen until about a half hour after our appointment time.

She had a good talk with the talk therapist today and she seems ready to go to the ACE program tomorrow. She has a clean uniform and promises me that her binder is ready to go.

The last song in Glee tonight was the first one I thought of when I figured out what the episode was about, One of Us. "If God had a name, would you call it to his face? If you were faced with him in all his glory what would you ask him if you had just one question?"

You can see the video and hear the song at:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4CRkpBGQzU

More doctors appointments

Tomorrow is appointment day. We have a follow up with the seizure doctor, where we have to say, unfortunately that she had one a few weeks ago. Then we get to go to her talk therapist. There we get to explain what happened last week and the consequences. I will then bring her home and drop her off for her father to take care of.

I have taken the first 4 hours off from work. I had expected to work a little late to make up some of the time while she was at the afterschool program but I guess that won't be happening now.   I told her father tonight that I am almost out of leave.  She starts the other program on Wednesday morning. We will need to drive her to the program and pick her up since they don't have transportation from CES. I get to go to school for a parent teacher conference Wednesday afternoon and I am praying that it is beneficial.

Yes, I have several questions that I plan to ask: the school therapist was supposed to do some in class observation, MAC has come home saying that the teachers have refused to sign her homework form, and she has had several issues with the Italian teacher. I hope to be able to get some answers from the school and to get more information about the October 23 meeting.

I am hoping that the seizure doctor will just have us come back in 6 months and that the talk therapist will discuss other ways she could have behaved on Friday. I am looking forward to lunch tomorrow, I’m planning on take out from my favorite restaurant.

I am happy that it has finally stopped raining, now if only it would warm up just a little!

Linda Ellerbe

Dad called today to tell me about a special on Nickelodeon tonight. Mom called while I was on my way to work to tell me that Dad had left the message.

Tonight's special was about bullying and how several students in the last few years have taken their own lives after being bullied or cyerbullied. There were several students on the show with her talking about how they were bullied or how they bullied others.

MAC and I watched the show together. I asked her questions during the show about how she felt and if she felt like some of the students. She said that it seems as if the teachers don't do anything in the classroomThey tell the children that they are there to "teach them". It was a theme throughout the whole show, a student would be bullied, they would tell the teacher, then the school administration and nothing would happen, after a while the student would get fed up with it and feel that there was no other way out but to kill themselves.

By the end of the show she was tired of my asking questions and left.

It was a great way to spend 20 minutes. I hope that it helped MAC to see that she is not the only one who has issues at school. Hopefully it also will remind her that there are ways to deal with being bullied and not all them are physical.  Thank you Linda Ellerbe!

On a separate note, I wish to thank MES. I know you have been calling and I truly appreciate the surprise I came home to tonight! Chocolate covered oranges are delicious!!

What doesn't kill us...

Today was the last of a very hellacious week. I won't go into details but suffice to say it involved the police department, suspension, and lots of tears.

When I started the blog I had help from my friend K. She was the one who suggested all the bamboo as my background. She suggested it because of the following story:

African story, a parable by Emmaus-Katigamu.

The story of the bamboo

Once upon a time there was a farmer who had two gardens. One was in the mountains and the other was in the plains. The farmer loved both gardens very much. But in particular he loved one tree in the mountain garden. This tree was a bamboo.

Bamboo was very tall and very beautiful. The farmer used to visit Bamboo every evening to admire and enjoy her beauty. When the farmer was visiting, Bamboo would always dance beautifully, which made the farmer even happier. The farmer loved Bamboo very much, much more than other trees.

It so happened that there was once a drought in the plains, and the lower garden started to dry. The drought was so severe that the plants started to die off. The farmer was desperate to find a way of watering this garden. There was plenty of water in the mountains, but he had no way of taking the water to the plains. Then the farmer remembered his friend Bamboo.

So the farmer went to Bamboo one evening and they started talking. "Bamboo," said the farmer, "I love you a great deal."

Bamboo was very happy. Dancing, she responded, "I too love you so much, master." The master was pleased.

"So now, Bamboo," said the master, "I want to use you."

"I am ready, master," answered Bamboo.

"But there is one condition," the master went on. "In order to use you, I must cut you down."

Bamboo was grieved and very disturbed. "Master," said Bamboo, "you say you love me. Why then do you want to destroy me?"

"Bamboo," the master said, "I don't want to destroy you, I want to use you. But in order for you to be usable to me, I must cut you. If you are not ready to be cut, I cannot use you."

Bamboo was most unhappy, because she feared the pain. But because she loved the master and trusted him, she decided to let the master go on. So the master took a hatchet and cut down Bamboo. It was very painful.

The master said, "Good, but there is some more work to do on you; I have to chop off your branches."

Bamboo complained even more. "Master, you want to kill me now." The master remained silent; and seeing that he was serious, Bamboo decided to submit. The master took his hatchet again and cleaned off the branches until Bamboo was very clean. Then he said, "This is really good, Bamboo, but there is still one last thing. I have to pop out your inside."

Bamboo was terrified. The last two steps had been painful enough, but to pop out her inside -- that was unthinkable. Bamboo struggled with this. But then the master said, "I cannot use you unless I pop out your inside." Seeing that the master was serious, Bamboo again submitted.

The master took an iron rod and popped out the inside until Bamboo was hollow. It was extremely painful. But Bamboo was now ready to be used.

The master used Bamboo as a pipe to connect his two gardens. Soon water started to flow from the mountain garden into the garden in the plains. The plants were revived. Seeing her usefulness, both Bamboo and the master were very happy. They ended up greater friends than before.